This choice: Questions for Pervy Sage • Go Back... Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
After Sakura left, Naruto went into the kitchen grabbed a rice-ball out of the fridge and sat down at the table to contemplate over Sakura and his discoveries about her.
"How should I go about asking her out?" he thought, taking a bite out of the rice-ball. "When ever I asked her out when we were younger, I got turned down(harshly) and sometimes smacked over the head." "Yeah she's been nicer to me since I got back to the village, but what if she falls back into old habits?" thought Naruto as he finished the rice-ball. "I mean, she hit hard before, but now she strong as fuck..... "
Picturing Sakura's meaty, chakra enhanced fist blowing his head apart like fifty explosive tags on a watermelon, as soon as it made contact, Naruto shuddered.
..."I should probably get some help with this." he thought after a moment.
After getting dressed in some black shorts and a navy blue t-shirt, Naruto tied his kunai and shuriken holders onto his right leg and tied his equipment pouch on his left(a ninja should always be prepared). Grabbing his black hitai-ate(forehead protector) and tying it on his head on the way to the door, he put on his black ninja sandals and went looking for the pervert(Jyria).....
..After roof hoping for a few minuets, Naruto arrived at one of the lakes just out of the village proper.
Walking over to some bushes, Naruto hears girlish giggling coming from them. Knowing that he's found his teacher, he moves the bushes aside to see Jyria looking through the bushes at the naked women.
"Hey, perve-
"Not now brat" said Jyria, interrupting Naruto. " I'm on a deadline from my publisher and this is prime research material I'm looking at."
"But I need you-"
" Relax Naruto, we just got back to the village a few days ago" said Jyria, cutting of Naruto again. "I'll teach you some new jutsu later, just go away and let me work"
"Cut me off again and i'll tell Kurenai that your perving on her again."
Knowing that Naruto had him by the balls, Jyria sighed and turned to face his student with a scowl on his face. "What do you want? asked Jyria in clipped tone of voice, none to happy at being held hostage by a 15 year- old boy.
"I need some advice on women and I thought that I could come to you, but since your going to be an ass about it, I guess i'll ask someone else." retorted Naruto. " I know when i'm not wanted.
Turning to leave, Naruto was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Turning back around, he saw his sensei's face with a perverse grin on it.
"Hold up brat, why didn't you just say that from the beginning?" laughed Jyria.
"...................."
"What?" asked Jyria.
After mumbling something under his breath about senile old bastards, Naruto told him that he needed help asking Sakura out.
"The one with pink hair?"
"Yeah."
"No." Jyria told Naruto, simply.
"What the hell do you mean 'No', you old bastard!!
"She's no good for you." He told his student. "I dug up some info on her before we left the village. I found out that all she did to you was call you stupid and hit you.
"The hag(Tsunade) does the same to you,and you still have it in for her...
Shivering at the thought of 'old people' love, Naruto waited for his sensei's response.
..."She has breasts." was the answer he came up with.
"So does Sakura!" Naruto told the hermit. "She has breasts, thick thighs, a nice belly with juicy roll's on it! And that ASS!! exclaimed Naruto, now giggling perversely. Don't let me get started on her ass!.......
Cutting his student off before he could get stared(on Sakura's ass), Jyria asked Naruto to explain what the hell he was talking about. Naruto then gathered himself and told Jyria about what happened before he left his apartment...
......"And here we are now." said Naruto, now finished with his story.
Jyria sat quiet for a moment before he busted out laughing.
"What the fuck is so funny!?!?!" asked a now livid Naruto. Naruto was being dead serious when he relayed the info about what happened in his home, but the pervert was laughing at him like he was some kind of joke!
Sensing his students anger, Jyria calmed down and explained..
"For one thing, your finally on your way to becoming a man." said Jyria.
"What are you talking about?!" screeched Naruto
Ignoring Naruto's indignant yelling, Jyria continued...
"Look, I'm glad you came and told me this, i'd love to help you out, but i'm afraid that I can't" Holding up his hands to keep the blond silent, Jyria continued. " You and Sakura have a relationship similar to the one that Tsunade and I have." "I have been trying to get with her for years and I have failed each and every time." " There's not much advice I can give that will help."
"Well damn......okay, just give me what you can"
"Just do what comes naturally and hope for the best"
"........That's was lame pervert."
"Yeah I know, but thats all I got."
"But that won't help."
"The worst thing she can do is say no."
"She can blow apart a mountain with a single punch and the worst thing she can do is say no?"
".....Good point"
The two stayed silent for a while before Jyria spoke again.
"Not a bad choice though."
"What?" asked Naruto.
"I said that she's not a bad choice."
"I know that, but what do you mean?"
"From what I gathered about her from what you told me she won't order a salad."
"Huh?"
"When guy's take a girl out to eat, a lot of the time the girl will order a salad."
"What's wrong with getting a salad?"
"Nothing is wrong with getting a salad, if they get something else with it." said Jyria. "There is nothing more aggravating spending time and money to take a girl out to eat, just for her to order some fucking lettuce(AN: that's how I feel). "
"Yeah, well I probably won't have that problem with Sakura." said Naruto
"For your sake, I hope not."
The pair sat in silence for a while before Jyria spoke up again.
"Look brat, since I can't really help you, how bou't I teach you a sealing jutsu instead?"
Knowing that he still had time to kill before going to see Sakura, Naruto answered yes and the two moved to a small clearing that was a little deeper into the forest.....
.....A few hours later, after Naruto learned the sealing technique, The blond left the forest to go to Sakura's house.
As Naruto was walking, he saw a candy store that had a large sign that read 'GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE. EVERYTHING AT LEAST, HALF OFF!!!!!!!'. Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to take a look Nartuto walked inside...
"How may I help you sir?" asked elderly man behind the counter
"I'm just looking" replied Naruto.
Walking deeper into the shop, Naruto saw that there wasn't much left remaining in the store except for a large stack of expensive looking boxed chocolates. Walking over to them, Naruto picked up one of the boxes and looked at the price.....
"HOLY SHIT!!"
"Thats what everyone else said when they saw the price." the clerk sadly told Naruto.
"You shouldn't be surprised, no one is going to pay over 300 dollars(do the math) for this, especially since your going out of business." "And why the hell is this chocolate so expensive,and there can't be anymore than 30 chocolates in these boxes?"
"Here, try one." said the old man as he handed Naruto an open box. Reaching in and grabbing one, Naruto Put the chocolate in his mouth....
"Well?"
"..........."
"That's what I thought"
"........I'm still not paying 300 dollars for this stuff." said Naruto as he finished the chocolate.
"Yes you will."
"What?!
"Today is the last day of this sale and I have to get something for all of that chocolate." the
clerk said. "You will buy all of 250 lbs of that 600 dollar chocolate, for 300 dollars."
"Your damn right I will!"
.....After paying the money, Naruto sealed all but one of the boxes in a scroll and headed off to Sakura's house.
Not to long after he left the shop , Naruto bumped into Sakura as she walked out of a clothing shop...
"NARUTO!!!" yelled Sakura as she reared back her fist to knock the blond across the village.
Remembering his thoughts about the water melon and explosive tags from earlier that morning, Naruto dropped to his knees, help up his hands to her and yelled..
"PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!!".....
Seconds after he yelled that, Naruto's head was still intact. Surprised, Naruto opened his eyes to see Sakura eying the chocolates in his hands.
"Naruto."
"Yes?" squeaked a terrified Naruto.
"Why are you holding 600 dollar chocolates?"
"I bought them for you."
"Huh?" was her intelligent reply, still eying the chocolates.
"I havn't seen you in a while and I wanted to hang out with you, so I bought you a gift"
Taking the box out of his hands, Sakura opened it and popped one of the chocolates in her mouth.....
"MMMMMM!" Sakura moaned as she closed her eyes and shivered, her heavy body quivering. She nearly came right there!
Opening her eyes, Sakura grabbed another chocolate from the box, popped it into her mouth and let out another moan....
She did this several times.
Naruto was having a really hard time controlling himself as he Watched Sakura put the chocolates away. After the 9th chocolate, Naruto got an Idea. All he had to do was survive this encounter and have her accept..
"...Sakura."
...........
"Sakura?"
Snapping back to reality, Sakura blushed a answered Naruto. "Yes?"
"You Want to hang out?"
Remembering that she wanted to spend some time with him earlier, what she did at his apartment earlier and the fact that he bought those WONDERFUL chocolates for her....
"Sure." said Sakura.
"Great!" exclaimed Naruto as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Lets go........
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