The second day of my new job, I was on campus an hour early. I had eaten an entire tub of ice cream the previous night, trying to replicate the taste of Substance 7, but it wasn’t the same. I’d lain awake that night with my hands on my ice-cream-filled belly trying to work out what it was about it that no other food had, and that was somehow so compelling to me and just felt good – not a familiar spice, not a half-remembered odor, not even a texture I particularly recognised, but SOMEthing. I felt that if I got just one more taste, I’d work out what it was. I didn’t want to seem too eager though, or to bother Dr Tarpinian, so I hung around the campus for a while, wandering through the college bookstore and having a quick burger at one of the student diners that was still open – I wasn’t particularly hungry, but it was a distraction for a few minutes.
Eventually, without about 30 minutes to go, I headed for the Biochem building and took the elevator up to Lab 154. The door was ajar and Dr Tarpinian was sitting at her desk typing on the computer. “Ah, Conrad,” she said, looking up over her thick spectacles when I knocked. “Is it 10am already?”
“Uh, no, I’m early,” I said, a little sheepishly.
“No problem – we can start right away,” she said, handing me a heaping bowl of Substance 7. I licked my lips, and helped myself to a large spoonful. “Mmm, that’s good,” I said, gobbling it down.
“Wow, you’re hungry today!” she said. “You know, you can have breakfast before you come, it’s not a fasting study.”
“I know,” I said, “I did have breakfast – bacon and eggs at home.” And a burger and fries and a milkshake just now, and a bagel on the way over, I added in my head.
“Hmm – and that hasn’t affected your appetite for Substance 7?” she asked as I finished the bowl. I shook my head. “Fascinating… do you want some more?” she said, refilling the bowl. I nodded, eyes fixed on the stuff.
I ate the morning away at the lab bench, taking bowl after bowl of Substance 7 interspersed with conversation with Dr Tarpinian. Some of it was medical questions, some idle chitchat as the day wore on – what part of town we lived in, what we liked on TV, what she should do in Hesper, since she was new (and where to eat). This last point was particularly interesting to me – I could tell she had gained a LOT of weight pretty recently, from her clothes and something about the way she moved, as if her centre of gravity was off. We didn’t get that personal though, and I didn’t know how to bring up the subject tactfully, so the morning wore on without any great relevations or much of anything, really.
At around noon, however, something happened. I reached the ladle in to get some more and it clanged against the empty container. “Uh, Dr Tarpinian?” I said.
“Please, Conrad, I told you, call me Anne,” she said, waddling over. She peered into the metal vat that stood on the worktop. “Oh! That seems to be this batch finished,” she said, a little surprised. “You certainly WERE hungry. Don’t worry, I have plenty more,” she said, pulling forward another vat and taking off the lid.
I felt conflicted – on the one hand, I’d just made a total pig of myself. On the other, there was another big bucket of Substance 7 there for the taking…
“Remember, don’t be embarrassed or anything,” said Anne encouragingly. “The success of the study depends on you eating exactly as much as you WANT, understand?” I nodded slowly, taking the bowl from her.
By 5pm, my stomach was so full and swollen that I had to unbutton my pants and unzip them just to give myself some relief. I was clearly FULL, well beyond even, but I wasn’t ready to stop eating the Substance 7. I didn’t feel like I could tell Anne this, however, so I just acted like it was the end of a regular day’s work and I’d see her tomorrow. I knew I’d just be dreaming about it until the next morning, though.
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