Time seems to crawl as I stand completely naked at the side of the road, hands on the bonnet of my car. The whirl of passing traffic is a constant reminder that I'm on display in public, as are the occassional honks of the car horns. After what seems like a decade the officer returns to me.
"I'm sorry about the delay, miss." he tells me. "I've had to call in a female officer to help deal with this."
"Can I get back in the car while we wait?" I ask, desperate to hide my shame.
"Sorry miss. You might have a weapon hidden in there. I can't take that risk. You will have to remain as you are."
"You mean I can't even cover up?!"
"No ma'am. Standard procedure, I'm afraid. We'll just have to wait."
I grit my teeth, wanting desperately to say something biting about petty beuraucrats. I hold my tongue, though. I may be forgetful, but I'm not stupid.
After an even longer wait another patrol car finally pulls up. A blonde woman in a uniform approaches us. The male officer quickly explains the situation.
"Do you have your coat in your car?" the female officer asks the male.
"Uh, no. I left it at the station. Why?"
"I haven't got mine either..."
With a sigh, the female officer approaches me.
"Madam, you are free to go." she explains to me. I take my hands off the hood of my car and immediately use them to cover up.
"I'm not breaking any indecency laws?" I ask timidly.
"Well yes. Obviously. But the problem is that neither of us have any spare clothing for you, and it's considered a cruel and unusual punishment to cuff a naked person without something to cover them with. And procedure states that we can't take you in without cuffs. So really you're getting off on a technicality."
"That's fantastic!" I squeal in delight.
"Yeah. Marvellous." she replies dryly "I'll call out an ATB to all officers in the area. We'll give you one hour to get yourself some clothes. If you haven't complied during this time then we will hunt you down and arrest you. And we'll make sure we have blankets this time."
As the police returned to their vehicles, I followed suit and clambered back into mine. One hour! Gosh, this is all so embarrassing. I turn the key into the engine and pull away. But then a thought occurs to me. One hour. To all extents and purposes, I can legally stay naked for another hour, and the police are powerless to stop me.
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