%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
Feeling something inside, the beginnings of that oh-so familiar teenage crush like sensations whir up into ignition and the bare thought or mention of the new name. Knowing it wasn't meant to be, or not how you hoped it would eventually not turn out to be. The continuing obsession and fantasies that would continue constantly in the back of my mind, fleeting moments of pleasure and the endless possibilities slowly dragging me deeper into an obsessive pit. Every party, every place hoping, frantically searching for that person and concluding that it must be fate to be there at the same place- oh what a coincidence indeed!  Then the reality soon hits, once I always eventually see them with another and by this time already scared them off with my obsessive stalkerish behaviour no doubt. Sudden embarrassment and eventual dislike removes all of the former feelings and behaviours so much so that one day I remember and think back to everything I felt as if it were a distant dream; a cloud of emotions of my earlier self. Breaking this continuous cycle is surely possible but how? A new low must be to inflict this pain on another, a close friend just for my own selfish propelling obsessions. To watch the same feelings of despair, shame and heartbreak on another with a gleeful smile on my face is definitely an all time low. Little did I realise my own feelings would be affected for the worse through this. Staining any possible future happiness I intended to have. To break this, means to break free, free from others, free from the boundaries of myself, free to not care and not control everything. Free to just love for the sake of loving, with no ulterior planned motives or feelings involved. Free so that my happiness is not dependant upon another. Free to love myself and to let chance and fate find me and not the alternative. Here's to belief in my self, belief in God, love for my self, love for God, love for others and to spread love&happiness always and nothing less... |
This In & Out is EMPTY! Be the first to add... use the form below! |
Self Deletion: Not Allowed Direct Follow Ups: Allowed Post Limiting: Not Limited
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
