Free to Write

         The “best” option. I hate that phrase. That phrase to me means perfect. I usually hear that being asked after I made a mistake. “Do you think that was the best option?” I always want to go obviously I thought it was, but that would be followed with “Book smart but no common sense”. Then I would hear for an hour or so how I was wrong to do it like I did, and that this was better. I would get told over and over and over and sometimes I would wonder why I even tried to do something in the beginning. If it isn’t perfect; “why do it?” is my new motto. Why try your best when all you will hear is wow you did that? That doesn’t at all look good. Oh you tried something totally new? Well you did it wrong and if you would have asked I would have told you to do it right.
         So then I ask. “What you can’t see it right in front of your face? What are you unable to think on your own?” I feel some days like I am drowning, because these are the days I fear. These are the days I am afraid to talk and these days I regret everything. Then you have the good days the days where even if I didn’t do it with the best option way, but it still got done I don’t hear a peep. I get congratulated, I get told that it was great.
         The best option to me is all in perspective. If you watch a lot of movies it may be to jump in front of the gun and be a hero. Or to slow down when I feel like it’s unsafe at that certain speed. Not because you can take it at a faster speed than me. The best option is dependent on your own experiences and lives, the best option for you may not be the best option for me.
         The best option is to learn to be helpful and not demanding. To be a guide and yet not an enforcer. The best option is to understand we are different yet similar.