Ask Mr. Wizzo!

Response:

Oh, the answer here is simple. Theoretically.

Simply leave a note on the pile of bodies, informing rabbits that the bodies have carrots within them. Rabbits, known carrot-lovers, will obviously eat the dead bodies in order to gain access to the carrots.


Of course, there is always the possibility that the rabbits would be unwilling to consume the bodies to get to the carrots... In which case you would have to find a way to turn the rabbits into carnivores.

The simplest way to do this would be to capture a few rabbits, and put them in a room with nothing but hamburgers. Their hunger would eventually get the best for them, and they would be forced to consume the meat. After a few weeks, they would develop a taste for it, and would prefer it over carrots.

Then you simply let them loose by the bodies, and they would eat the carcasses. Hopefully, by this point, thye would be used to coming to your house, and they would come back and eat the carrots when they were hungry again.



...Of course, maybe a quicker method would be to simply buy a rabbit and a mountain lion. Have the mountain lion eat the bodies, and then have the rabbit eat the carrots. Just make sure not to keep them in the same cage, or you'll end up having to buy more rabbits, and the mountain lion won't be hungry enough to eat any bodies at all.



I would inquire as to why you have a pile of bodies stuffed with carrots, but, y'know, I already know everything. So I don't need to.