Ten years ago I was writing several blogs on various subjects - F1 motor racing, Music, Classic Cars, Great Romances and, most crushingly, a personal journal that included my thoughts on America, memories of England and Africa, opinion, humour, writing and anything else that occurred. It all became too much (I was attempting to update the journal every day) and I collapsed, exhausted and thoroughly disillusioned in the end.
So this blog is indeed a Toe in the Water, a place to document my thoughts in and on WdC but with a determination not to get sucked into the blog whirlpool ever again. Here's hoping.
So sorry for your loss. It's natural to be reflective, and the "deserving" or not is part of that reflection. It's hard to lose siblings. I lost one of my own a few years ago, and it never really leaves you. Take the time you need. It will scar over, and not really heal, but you will be ok again one day, if "ok" is the right word.
Perhaps the old will return, or perhaps a combination of the old instilled with some change will prevail. Keep at it and soon enough you will find you again have a routine that works for you.
I also will say sorry for your loss. I think you expressed your thoughts well. Life is precious but we all have an end date. The memories will keep your thoughts of your sister alive in your heart.
I tend to write to deal with grief, it helps me think and release my feelings. You have a lot to deal of healing needed physically and emotionally. Know that you also have people here who care and support you.
So sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need to sort things out. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. I'd say the defining feature of "mourning" is dwelling on your personal feelings, and sometimes they can be complicated.
That's why we say "sorry for your loss". We recognize that those left behind have lost something. The bereaved lose a part of their world, a someone who belonged in their personal life story, someone who shared memories with them that they may now have to carry alone because no one else would understand. It's not selfish to mourn, it just illustrates the value of the one who has passed and gives them their due importance.
I'm sorry for your loss like Cubby said, everyone's grief is different. I don't want to make any personal suggestions about fond memories or whatever. Take care
I’ve been thinking a lot over the last few weeks. Which explains why there have been so few blog updates lately. Although you might think that all that thinking would result in all sorts of blogworthy things to say, the truth is that most of them aren’t worth saying until a conclusion is reached. So I hold fire on that until I can see the whites of your eyes.
In the meantime, here’s a little thought I had several years ago. You might remember the ad.
Sometimes people say things I don't think they mean. Just watched an advert for a well known brand of beer by the most interesting man in the world. At the end of the ad he lifts a beer bottle so we can see the label and advises us to "stay thirsty, my friends." I'm sorry, but to me this means I should bear the thirst because this beer is really horrible.
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