Indelible

Well, Now

[originally posted in "Well, now" ]

It's been four years since mi amor and I met. One might think I'd use this leading entry to discuss something about our relationship. Those who are thinking that...are absolutely right! With a wedding in our future, I have started to look at something that is strong in both of us: atheism.

While I credit mi amor with inspiring me to finally break free from the chains of religion, I still approach it and fellow atheists with a careful eye. In a hyperreligious world, atheists face many unique challenges that most people don't understand for whatever reason. One they might not even think of is the issue of unity among atheists. See, atheists have a multitude of goals, and in the US, reducing the influence and prevalence of religion (especially Christianity). I'll cover that in a minute. In order to pursue that particularly lofty goal, there has to be strength in numbers. This leads to...clique behavior among atheists. I will say right now that clique behavior is the main reason I have not joined any atheist groups. It's too much like a church, only they worship science and tout evolution as the Gospel. Interesting comparison, no? Well, if you ask me, they had it coming. With that in mind, well, check out these sites.

http://www.atheists.org
http://www.ethicalatheists.com

While their ultimate goal is to provide education on atheism and provide a framework for an atheist's lack of raligious beliefs, the way their case is presented suggests a confrontational tone and a haughty, militant effort to dispel religions as a sack of horse shit. Likewise, in some of the articles the site maintainers/contributors write themselves, I am bothered by a lack of credited sources for some of the "facts" they use to bolster a given point. As an atheist who has traveled their much revered academic path, I have been trained to question things I don't think are totally right. It makes me wonder if atheist organizations ever wondered if/when this tactic would ever be used against them.

All the same, I am inclined to agree with some of their points. I'm all for rewriting the Pledge of Allegiance to remove the references to God. Religious connotations asides, it's also something of an insult to our founding fathers, if you ask me. Thought deists, the founding fathers also recognized that many religions (even not practicing a religion) shared the same turf known as the United States. Thus, they formed a government that could accomodate the idea of a higher being without choosing one over the others (or choosing one denomination over another, for that matter). If any of them came back to life and heard our modern Pledge of Allegiance (hailing from the Cold War, mind you), I bet they'd be baffled, to say the least. How could they place one form of God on a pedestal? How could they do this and acknowledge the concept of a Judeo-Christian partnership? They'd probably still be concerned even after getting some context (and a crash course for reading the English language as it is used today, if they want to read up on the history of the nation after their demises). All that said, I ultimately think they'd disagree with the pledge as is, and for that reason (among others), I would like to see changes made to the pledge (not just religious references being omitted).

All the same, there are some ways in which atheism is accessible to people, and one of those ways is how they handle weddings. Warning: The page I am about to link contains some of those facts I wish had citations, especially the part about the rings being a vestige from the days when women were for all intents and purposes bartered.

http://www.atheists.org/comingout/weddings/atheistweddings.html

Granted, a lot of wedding traditions have religious roots in some form or another, but the message behind this essay is more relatable than others. Ultimately, love and committment are the things that unite a couple. God's role is up for grabs in such a situation, because it is between the spouses to make it work. Thus, the basic concept of the atheist ceremony appeals to me, as it highlights the couple, treating the occassion as a celebration, which is what a wedding is in this day and age. Since at least in the Western world (and increasingly so in other places) the joining of a couple in marriage is more often the result of free will, atheist ceremonies reflect this idea. At the same time, the acknowledgement of ethnic traditions is encouraged (with the responsibility of finding out what the traditions means belonging to the couple and their families). While I am currently resisting the urge to suggest taking our vows in German (a common ethnicity of ours in our Heinz 57-esque union), I'm all for integrating parts of our ehtnicity into the ceremony (and the wedding in general). I draw the line at eating lutefisk, though. In any case, as more couples begin to tweak the ceremonies to reflect their interests and families, I realize that at least in this respect atheists are not alone. Though I clash with much of the nation on the presence of a deity, I feel better knowing that we have at least one thing in common: making our marriages (even if it's just the wedding day) a unique experience unlike any other.

Do mi amor and I sit around and discuss these atheist matters? Actually, we do. While it's hardly an everyday topic, atheism is important to us. In that ironic way, it shares a similarity to religion in its intensity and depth for us. It also shares an ironic similarity with fringe and extreme religions: a boatload of misconceptions, militants galore and shocking amounts of ignorance. Let's make sure we don't end up like that.