Sandy Supposes....

Is It June 12th or January 12th??

         I attempted to celebrate today's, June 12th's special day, I really did. It's National Flip Flop Day and like a good devotee to all wacky/holiday days, I set forth for my daily saunter along the main street in a favourite turquoise pair. Too late, my bare feet relayed their discomfort and I shivered. Is it June 12th or January 12th? Where's the heat wave of a few days ago? How can it possibly be barely double digits in the temperature department? In the Celcius range? My mukluks have been relegated to a back corner of a closet and I have not wrestled with socks lately. Did no one inform the weather bringers that it is June and I expect to be perspiring? I swear my flip flops iced up and my exposed toes curled up.

          A raw wind howled as it pushed me along the sidewalks and snarled my hair. Are those white caps crashing onto the deserted beach? Where are the screeching sea gulls and the waddling ducks? Most of the time these birds are competing for food scavenging in 'my' sleepy village. Not one surfed on the grey waves.

         As I hurried home and dreamt of thawing my feet in a pair of fluffy slippers, I realized that I'd not been swatting and waving my arms. Nothing whined about my head and nothing dive-bombed me in a swirling black cloud. Sure,I stomped my feet, but my circulation needed the kickstart. I did not stomp in a futile effort to repel blackflies. Both those pesky buggers and I prefer warm, sun-kissed flesh.

         This reminds me that June is also Effective Communications Month. I fear that the blackflies thumb their little noses at this. They make no attempts whatsoever to communicate in a mutually-beneficial manner. As I mentioned, they swarm. They attack without provocation. They display no politeness or consideration. I've yet to hear a please or a thank you expressed. They are takers and extremely greedy. Do they not hear my cries of no more, or enough is enough? There is no reasoning with them. Obviously, they ignore the one important aspect of effective communication. They refuse to listen.

         I'm certain that my actions and my words express my extreme dislike of them. Why do they interpret my flailing as an invitation? Do they understand my dousing in Deet to be a skin marinade instead of a repellent? My lighting of citronella candles is not meant to convey a party atmosphere. My brandishing of a fly-swatter is not an attempt to play and encourage vigorous return volleys.

         Did I mention that June is also Fight the Filthy Fly Month? No? I Googled this auspicious celebration and it's a nod to houseflies that annoy. Huh, this fits the profile of the bloodthirsty blackfly. I fight/ do battle with them more than with the dimwitted housefly.

         Unlike the sneaky blackfly, the housefly does not comprehend stealth mode. It buzzes around and bumbles/stumbles its way indoors where it bashes itself against a closed window or screen, over and over. Its size provides a virtual bull's-eye for eradication. Like a prize fighter, the housefly can survive more than one well-aimed blow, but eventually it surrenders. The black fly weaves and evades swatting.

         Now, no one specified that flip flops were to be worn today, although I did do this for a brief time. Has anyone else considered using their flip flops as a weapon? From practical application, I can verify that they make an effective fly swatter.

         ( I re-discovered a bit of my writing re flip flops. Someday, I must expound on this. I remember being out and about with my grandgiggle Sydney and teasing her that her wet flip flops sounded like a duck with their "quack, quack" noise when she walked. This is how I described her reaction. Sydney waved her arms and she stomped on the ground, but pink rubber flip flops don't make much sound... )