Complex Numbers

Reverse Road Trip

I do miss road trips.

PROMPT May 17th

Write about a fictional road trip where you meet up with your fellow competitors from the 30DBC! Who do you visit first? Do you bring any gifts? Tell us about the crazy blogger shenanigans you all get up to!

I have, indeed, visited several people from WDC while on the road, coast to coast in the US and even in exotic countries (the UK). Maybe someday I'll be able to do that again. Meanwhile, even thinking about it pisses me off. It pisses me off enough to get really drunk.

So for this fictional road trip, for once, I'm not going to be doing the driving. Y'all are coming to me.

You can bring beer, or wine, or scotch, or tequila, or, well, any booze of choice. I suppose if you're opposed to the very idea of alcohol (and somehow want to visit anyway), I will graciously accept chocolate. I promise I won't try to shame you into drinking.

Don't bring your underage kids, or dogs. Cats are acceptable. So are hamsters, but here, sign this waiver. I have cats.

I have Movie Night planned. Don't worry; I'll spring for the microwave popcorn. While the temptation is there to share my all-time favorite movies, they don't exactly have crowd appeal. Is Cats out on streaming yet? No? What's that? It'll always be "No?" Oh, very well. How about the Complete Works of Zack Snyder? Hey, where's everybody going?

Okay, okay, then comedy it is. Normally I'd propose Monty Python, but the plague scene in Holy Grail might hit a little too close to home. So we're going on a Gene Wilder kick. Wonka first to warm up, and then the Holy Trinity of Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, and The Producers.

By the time it's over, you'll all be crashed in the living room and it won't matter that there's only one guest bedroom.

I'll even cook breakfast the next morning, assuming someone else goes shopping for eggs, biscuits, bacon, pancake mix, and OJ. I'm not leaving the house.

And don't worry, I won't make you schlep any leftover booze back with you. I'll heroically volunteer to hold onto that.

Seriously, though, I miss road trips.