Writing Life

Talking Out Loud and Asking Invisible People for Answers

This sounds like a whack-a-doodle blog post. LOL But, this afternoon I was wrestling with a scene I'd written. I could hear people complaining that I was name calling in it. The scene is where an old man with the onset of dementia starts shooting at his grandkids who are in their tent thinking they're trespassers.

So, I went for a walk and talked out loud asking one of my nephews, who is nowhere in the vicinity, what he would do if his dad opened fire on his son who was camping in a tent on the hillside. I knew exactly what would happen. He would let off a flurry of cuss words, yank the gun from his dad's hands and give him what for. He wouldn't care that his dad might have the onset of dementia. The only thing he would be caring about is his son. Justin would run through a field of landmines under enemy fire to rescue him. He's that kind of dad.

I went into more detail with the scenario with my missing nephew than I've added here, but this was the gist of it. Suddenly, while talking through the scene I realised I'd left a really important piece out - I only have Grandpa shooting. Growing up on a farm I know full well he would have been yelling, "TRESPASSERS! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" and then proceed to open fire. But, I left that piece out. I also discovered other important pieces I'd left out of the scene - like ways to make it more dramatic. And, I realised I also need to decide if he's shooting an M1-carbine or if it's a 16-gauge shotgun. I hadn't thought about it until I walked about and talked it out with the missing nephew.

Now, this scene is gonna rock! I just have to tame it a tiny bit for kids. :)