The Making of a Preacher -Prep

Matthew Marks Sees the Light

Matthew Marks wrestles with doubts about God, the reality of God, the Existence of God, and his own place in the story that God is writing. This wrestling match takes the form of at times nearly physical throw-downs with his nemesis, Lazarus Watyudid. Lazarus has this uncanny ability to get inside of Matt's head in a sort of "divide & conquer" battle in the spirit realm.

Lazarus has a lot of ammunition for the fight. Matt knows that he is less-than-perfect, has screwed up his life in many ways, socially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Matt has done things that many of his family and friends would find to be inexcusable, during his rise to the top as an eloquent preacher in two worlds.
1. Matt would jump at a higher position when a superior "fell from grace," morally-speaking.
2. Matt was quick to "Shine the light of truth" on another believer in ways that would accentuate their flaws while hiding his own.
3. Matt often looked at soft porn in private, while preaching about moral purity in public. (That fact that he felt guilty after looking, didn't seem to prevent him from looking, again, with any consistency.)
4. Matt enjoyed being flirtatious with younger ladies in the church, but he was careful to do so in very subtle ways in order to "cover his tracks," if the advances weren't received with a positive response. (Again, he always felt guilty after doing something morally "gray," but he couldn't seem to stop himself from doing it, again, in the future.)
5. Matt enjoyed preaching about judgment with a stronger voice and greater frequency than he enjoyed preaching about grace and forgiveness. (The truth of one's heart always seems to "bubble to the surface," condemning the speaker, who has an inner terror, regarding confession of his own sordid secrets.)

At the end of the story, Matt has a spiritual breakdown that brings him to a nervous breakdown as well as a massive coronary, which leaves him in a physical coma, in which The Lord arrests him into a conscious state of one-on-one conversation with The Divine Judge and Jury, Himself.

The Lord asks Matt a series of questions, which create the Bottom Line, "Is there anything too hard for Me? If you came to Me, then I saved you. End of story. (John 6:37) Did you come to Me?" "Yes, Sir." "Did I save you, according to My Word, placing all of your sins in the Sea of My Forgetfulness?" "Yes, Sir." "Is there anything left to be done toward me?" "No, Sir." "Do you have anything left to be done towards others?" "No doubt."

"Then, make amends and restitution, where you are permitted to do so. This would include stepping down from a place of moral leadership for good or at least until trust can be restored. Let others tell you what they require. Before you can be permitted to preach to others, preach to yourself, learning to live a clean life by my power. Regarding your relationship with me, feelings are optional. Besides, what are feelings, but the emotions responding to what you think? Think rightly in agreement with what I say, and your feelings will follow."

The whole interchange is reminiscent of the last chapter of the Book of Job when The Lord sets everything straight, including the protagonist. The Moment Matt realizes Who he is and What The Lord has done in the New Creation, then he is instantly restored to health.

It is now time for the denouement.