Selah // Something Witty

Killing me softly.

Date: 09.29.17 -- Day 56
Music: "Killing Me Softly" / Fugees

If "he" is writing or autumn, then yep, I'm dying.

OctoNano Prep is here in a hot minute. I'm excited and nervous and slightly losing my mind because I think I'm going to ditch the idea I was planning on and start something different. Sure, it's less than two days away, but the previous story isn't sitting as well as this other idea that my mind wants to play with. It's a little daunting to ditch the date you came with, and I'm not saying I'm actually going to ditch it, but there is a real possibility I'm going to try something different at the eleventh hour. It's kind of ridiculous to participate, but I love OPrep almost more than NaNo itself and it's been a couple of years since I've participated, so I want to do the thing. So grind meets grind, and thus true NaNo season madness begins.

I have two writing assignments due tomorrow and only have the rough bones of either. Which is why I'm not working on either one of them and just blogging instead. Haha. Part of the stall is work, not going to lie. I have a student in crisis as she applies for grad school last minute, and I'm taking on a new student this week. Plus, an EMG on Monday, which might take my right hand out of commission again depending on how deep they wish to prob my hand. Onboarding a new student is a task. I know her family well though as two of her siblings are/were my students, so saying no seems wrong. Unfortunately, I won't have a day off until Sunday, and then not again until the following Friday. My body already regrets this decision, but things need to get done. One foot in front of the other and all that. Now I just need to blaze through these writing assignments and focus so I'm not working from behind like almost always.

Old patterns are starting to come up again, but it feels like adding padding to the slow descent that is autumn. I'm trying to project six weeks ahead with an overnight trip to BC in a couple of weeks and then my annual trek back to Cali in November; my body is already tired at the thought of it all. One in my predicament cannot not think to the future. There are too many moving parts that need to be covered for me to just let those things go to chance. I use daunting a lot on this blog, but it is daunting. It's killing me softly. Still, autumn is my favorite time of year, especially in the Pacific Northwest. My bones and muscles hate the change of seasons, but my eyes crave the dark rain clouds, the lush dark green trees, and the misty mountains in the foreground. It is the pleasure with the pain - one I do not how to live without.