The Seventh Saint

1.- Introductory

         Once upon a time...

         ...in the magical land of Unica...

         I tried to get laid.

         Not the most inspiring of beginnings, but such an innocuous endeavor almost caused the end of the world. Really. Also, I'd like to say that this was my story, and that I was some kind of heroine, but that would be a stretch by anyone's imagination. Okay, a downright lie. This is a story about other people. Better people. People who had much harder starts that I had and did much greater things than I did. I simply happened, by dumb luck and proximity, to end up their reluctant biographer.

Reluctant being the operative term.

So hey, the name's Lozenge. I like science, stylish hats, and poorly wielded derivative nouns. I hate trains, germs, and music that sounds like a blender full of kazoos. Unfortunately, I will encounter all of the latter. A lot.

Pleased to meetcha.

Now on to the meat and potatoes.

To understand the story of the Leaf, the Feather, and the Light; the trials of the Six Saints, and all the other wonderfully cataclysmic events of the Millennial Sun Celebration; the story of how the world got into the condition it was in, what we ended up doing about it, and why I'm here telling you this; we have to rewind to a time when I was an unassuming Church apothecary and mild-mannered virgin.

Ready?

It all started with this obnoxious kid...