These Are My JOTtings...

The Incredibly Edible, Tastefully-Made House

Creation Saturday!

Pick one of the following scenarios and expand on it: 1) An animal you can humanely wear while it's still alive; or 2) A house you can live comfortably in that is made entirely of edible materials.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#1 is a bit of a curiosity to me. If I were an earring sort of a guy, then having a couple of anoles clamping their jaws on my earlobes might be doable. However, I am not that guy. That's out!

Wearing a python through my belt loops doesn't seem that realistic. Besides, I don't really want to be "tight" with a snake.

My wife has been known to wear a cat like a stole around her neck. This seems to be the most plausible, except that one day, when we lived in another town, she was wearing a cat around her neck as I recall, when she walked outside. This became a most inopportune moment for the big dog from next door to walk up to say, "Hi!" In short order the cat stole became an impromptu crown of thorns, making the dear lady to feel most uncomfortable in the blink of an eye.

I would render the option of #1 to be consistently impractical.

#2 is a much more delicious idea to me. As for this concept I think I could truly "eat it up!"

As to foundation we should probably ask grandma to help us mix up a rather large batch of Sunday biscuits. (These particular biscuits would be the variety we used to use to irritate our little brothers by using these biscuits to rap them on the head, when our parents weren't looking. When the little brother cried out we would shrug our shoulders, acting as if we wondered what happened.) However, instead of using the biscuit-cutter we would simply have grandma back up the cement-mixer (or biscuit-mixer in this case) to the wood frame we have prepared for the slab. Pour in, smooth out, sun dry and we would have a wonderfully hard slab for a foundation by nightfall.

Now, the idea of a brick home appeals to many humans, therefore a ton of Claxton Fruitcake "bricks" would be the place to start. We would want to begin by fashioning six-month-old licorice into six foot long candy cane poles of rebar for driving into the foundation, even if we have to use a masonry bit for the starter holes. With the licorice rebar in place, begin laying the fruitcake "bricks" mortaring them together with some of Mama's white cake icing.

Once we have the sides framed in on the foundation, then it will be time to take a little trip to France to order 2000 baguettes with the first 100 being made-to-order 9 feet long for the creation of A-frame trusses. After lashing the A-frame trusses together with saltwater taffy in the middle of the kneading process, we will cross-frame the baguettes with a second layer of taffy. Weather-proofing would call for month-old Spinach leaves mixed with banana skins for added appeal. ;) Smooth the mixture over the baguettes and taffy and let dry into a paste all over the roof. (For added security [or sugar-ity] you could add a couple helpings of Maple syrup into the vegetable-fruit mixture before applying to the roof.)

To add light sources and ventilation for the house, you may want to consider the possibility of strategically-placed openings around the sides of the house, during the brick-laying process. These light-source/ventilation openings would be quasi-portholes made of chipa. (Chipa is Paraguayan cheese bread, which is baked every morning around 4:00 AM. Chipa makes a great snack during the first 24 hours. The next day chipa is petrified into excellent building materials. Chipa is round like a doughnut, but one should only bite into chipa on the first day, if one values his teeth.)

Finally, the front and back doors could be made of peanut brittle, poured in molds to be two feet thick. In the process of making the doors remember to place rather large doggie bones, where you want the door knobs to be. That way Fido doesn't feel left out. (After all, we don't want the humans to have all the FUN!)

Now another cool idea would be especially for the folks, who live in northern Canada. If you are part of a family of weight watchers, you can simply take some of the Jenny Craig roast beef slabs out of their protective coverings, place them on the roof and coat them with a thick layer of water, that will freeze the roast beef further to provide insulation and airtightness to the roof.

Bon Appetit and Sweet Dreams!

I'm a member of the Rising Stars Program for 2016-2017