The Undiscovered Country

Ah, Internet. Where Would I Be Without You?

For the final round of "Invalid Item"  I am to respond to two quotes:

“Blogging is to writing what extreme sports are to athletics: more free-form, more accident-prone, less formal, more alive. It is, in many ways, writing out loud.” ~ Andrew Sullivan

Years ago, I met another writer at a writers conference (strange, that. Meeting a writer at a writers conference? How does that happen?). She wrote non-fiction, and had several chapters started, but all the feedback she received from publishers and agents was the same: her writing was too stilted and legalistic. The main reason was because she wrote legal papers all day, and she struggled with making her writing more personable.

I told her the surest way to cure it was to start her own blog.

My reasoning was exactly what the quote above states (although my explanation wasn’t nearly as concise). I noticed after a few months, her writing changed, and opened up to the point her natural bubbly and hilarious personality popped off the page (figuratively speaking). She’s gone on to other things now, so I can’t link her blog. Otherwise you could see what I mean.

Writing a blog helps us find our voice, and the best part is, no one (or at least very few) care if we use the wrong word, if our sentence structure is – odd, or that we use a different font for every paragraph. That’s why I named my blog “My Writing Sandbox.” It’s here where I play and discover new things about the world, others around me, and even myself.

Simply put, when it comes to writing a blog, there are literally no rules. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

When I first started writing as a teenager, I wrote for the singular goal of publishing novels. It’s been a dream for literally the last 30 years. While I have a few articles and short stories under my authorship belt, I’ve not succeeded in fulfilling that life-long dream of seeing my novels on bookstore shelves.

After writing a blog for a few years on WdC, and the near instantaneous reaction I received, I put my novel-publishing dream on hold. I didn’t mind. In fact, I considered giving it up completely – but why I didn't is another story for another time.

Writing and reading other people’s blogs, however, I had no desire or intention to quit. There’s something organic, almost earthy about it. Just as Andrew described, we don’t have to worry about grammar or spelling (although me being on the edge of OCD, I’s gots to). We can also be more of ourselves in our blog, versus writing an article for a magazine, for instance. Magazine editors, agents, et al, have certain expectations, whereas blog readers don’t – except that blogs be somewhat interesting, or thought-provoking.

When people respond to what we write, how can that not stroke our egos a bit? As I’m sure most of you know, writers need a lot of ego stroking. We’re a sensitive bunch. At least for me, the smallest criticism can send me into a spiral of “woe-is-me” whether it be my writing, or the fact I have a booger on my nose. It’s really kind of sad in a pathetic sort of way. But if ever I need to give my ego a lift, I write a blog entry. Most of the time it helps.

Which segues me into the next quote:

“Social media is not a fad because it’s human.” ~ Gary Vaynerchuk

We all want to be heard. We all want people to engage with us in whatever we have to say, and we want it now. We are social creatures, because to avoid all interaction with others inevitably leads to insanity. I believe Gary is right; social media is here to stay, because it feeds our need to be seen and heard, and it boosts our self-esteem when people respond positively and instantaneously. Like me, I bet you check Facebook, Twitter or other sites to see how many people liked, shared or responded to your posts. I am so guilty of that, it’s sickening.

As with our humanity, there are darker sides to social media, too, not the least of which has resulted in some suicides because of online bullying. But that’s a subject also for another time.

Have you ever engaged in a conversation with someone where all they did was talk, and they never stop to listen? Social media takes that annoying trait and explodes it a hundred-fold. I know. I’ve done it. So busy talking, whether it be on Twitter or Facebook, I’ve not stopped to listen. Granted it’s hard not to, because how does one interrupt someone else on Facebook?

This is part of the reason I kicked myself off of Facebook for a year. Well, mostly. I keep an author page where I post my blog entries, and see if there are any family invites I need to be aware of. But I don’t post any opinions, or share stories about my day-to-day life. Nor do I take the time to read other people’s posts.

I decided to stay off Facebook when I did mostly because of the election season. It’s one of the nastiest I’ve seen, and I choose to avoid it. Politics is so inherently divisive, and because I do have strong opinions, I want to keep my mouth shut and not further alienate or infuriate my friends and family. They don’t piss me off, either, because I don’t take the time to see theirs.

Since I left Facebook back on December 1, 2015, I finished three novels, writing well over 150,000 words (I’m in editing phase now). Even better, I now have more time to spend with my friends and family here at home, face-to-face.

So, yes, social media is here to stay, but like with many other things in life, moderation is the key to making sure we don’t let social media be our only outlet of expression and interaction with others.

There I go, going all motherly on you by warning of the dangers of too much social media. Sorry. I’m a mom. I can’t help it.

I want to cry now, because my own mom was right. She threatened that I would grow up to be exactly like her, and I did. Dang it.