Still Figurin' Out Who I Think I Am

This one's about that noise.

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"You’re in your bed after a long day of touristing and you hear something. After investigating, what do you find out the noise was?"

What is up? Touristing...I like that word. I don't think it gets used often enough. Is it even a word, or something someone just verbed out of a noun? Doesn't matter...I'm good with it.

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves is having to get out of bed once I've finally gotten settled. It doesn't happen often, but often enough that I hate it. In italics, quadruple-a level hate. Because 99 times out of 100, it's always something so meaningless, yet can't wait until the morning...like refilling the bedside glass of water, or having to pee even though you went through your whole bedtime routine totally not having to pee. Little things. It's always the little things that seem to cause the biggest little hissyfits.

It's springtime, and the weather is nicer, which normally means good things...sunshine, windows open, girls in short shorts, and music coming out of everywhere signifying life has restarted after another nasty winter. All stuff I'm generally ok with (unless you have no business wearing revealing attire...but that's probably another conversation we'll have once I'm thoroughly sick of seeing it happen in my daily travels).

I'm trying really hard not to be bitter. It's way too early in the good-weather season for that.

But dammit the day I find the guy who plays his bongos at random hours...someone needs to start a defense fund for all the jail I'll be looking at. I can't see him from any perspective when I look out the windows, but oh, he's there. And he sucks. I can appreciate a well-played bongo. He is not a well-playing bongo-er. Would I be if I had bongo drums? Probably not, because the noises that happen when I have played them aren't the same ones I envisioned. And that's what this a-hole sounds like. Let your four-year-old beat on some Tupperware for awhile- with hands and/or wooden spoons- that's what happens when I'm starting to relax and unwind. The moment I start to think life could kinda be ok, the mariachi band dropout decides to let the neighborhood know from his porch how terrible of a person he is by taking it out on his whatevers.

And it kills me that I can't see him, but I can hear him. (And yes, I keep saying him, because his voice carries when he plays, so it's a him. And fuck him.)

If any of you cats see him, I'll expect no less than a thunder-punching in my name directed at his throat. I know I can count on you. I like peaceful, melodic existences. If you're gonna get a noisy hobby you're painfully awful at, do it where no one can hear you. I need all the beauty sleep I can get, ya hear? And I don't need it being effed up by something just getting out of bed and using plumbing can solve.

A classic nautically-themed album  . I don't think there's ever been such a thing before, and I hope there are more like it. Sorry it's all depressing and a downer (visually). I have a friend who just had a kid and is going through some not-great stuff, which makes me trying to just get some decent sleep at night pale. I can't say I wouldn't be the woman in this video. Breaks my burnt-to-ash heart the more I watch it.

"I hope that you like it in your little motel
and I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well."
Lyrics.  

Yes, I love hockey. I've played it (on driveways and in rec leagues, but not on skates though...that's crazy!) and I am a Buffalo Sabres fan. I kinda sorta like the NHL, and I kinda sorta dont. The league held their draft lottery last night. Being that the Sabres were the worst team in the league, they standed the biggest chance of landing the #1 overall pick. And in true Buffalo fashion, they lost. 100% guaranteed top 2 pick, 20% number one. I'm pretty sure our winning ping-pong balls are under the Jumbotron that crashed after it was installed at First Niagara Center (or Marine Midland Arena, or The Crossroads, or HSBC, or the effin' center-reader's choice). Edmonton, holder of three 1st-round loser trophies picks in the last six years, scored another last night.

This is infuriating because sometimes bad teams need to get really bad to move on past their good days and the glory their long-removed superstars took them to. Edmonton? They're a prime example of the league needing to reconsider contraction  . I will very gladly admiral the ship that sinks while screaming Quebec needs the Nordiques back or- gasp- Hartford gets to enjoy the Whalers again.

And I'm not totally mad either. We knew the Sabres were gonna suck legendary ass this year. And we also knew we had a chance for either Connor McDavid   or Jack Eichel  . Generational talents. Franchise-flippers. Get your heads back in the game fans and your asses outta the seats. Them kinda boys.

But Edmonton. All that is currently wrong with the league. And they get McDavid? Whoa. Every freaking article I've read about this makes me think it's a forgone conclusion the Oilers are taking him. The actual draft is in two months. Don't wake me up until then. And I don't really care which one drops to the Sabres at #2 now. because they're both good and it's playoff season, so go Blues. Remember that year Gretzky was traded to St. Louis? Bought me a Blues jersey and they got bounced, first round I think.

Hockey. It's fickle. Go to "Invalid Item"  and let's talk about it. Come sit next to PandaPaws Licensed VetTech and I at the table all bejeezus'd out in the home whites with blue and gold trim.

Please and thank you for allowing me to rant. Make sure you tip your bartenders. Peace, that's what I'm waiting for aren't I, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!

Someone please get him a Genny Light instead.