Writings from 11/02 to 3/05. |
1-11-05 Explanations explained; new terrain being sought over older fields we played. Gotten fucked over, gotten over, gotten older, similarly mature. Same time situation, sure. The memories may fade, but the evidence stays the same and my brain doesn't lie or hide; it just never leaves my insides. Short talk, as expected. I know it's complementarily elected. We've been there several times before but the scenery never seems as sure. I know nothing without you that a calendar can hide but when I begin to page through it out comes our best times to talk and laugh and giggle like before but- but but but but this isn't before, not anymore but it's all you're used to and I'm not used to this for sure. Summer intentions, December plans; simmered discretions boiling again. It's not what we thought at first, but is it what we hoped might work? I stopped looking long ago... what was I to know? We made our own way through, separately without "the you". Now we tear the sheets around us up in fear of what's next and in the end and for the best. Do we ever think about starting over when everything that's known can never be seen as brand new? When the subject is love, what is there to do? Will we ever get this right? It was for so long... now is always the time, and the time is always, now. |