Shouts From Down Under

Just...having a parade. That's all. Writing...that's all...

When you have a light bulb turn on suddenly, above your head, and an original, intriguing scenario double reversed chrome plated anodised salt and vinegar flavoured twist in the tail story idea, and you know it's good, you know it'll grab the reader by the throat until they've scrabbled the last page over and don't even realise there has been long winded run on sentences like this one.

Take a breath!

You have this idea, and you know it's going to be great. But it's like having a hotted up V8 ute (Australian pick-up) and you have the engine running, drop the clutch after revving that 8 pot horsepower hammer mill, but you don't move or go anywhere because there are no wheels on your vehicle.

It's jacked up on blocks and you forgot to fit the drag slicks, or drift bags.

Relevantise this to your fantastical story ideaisimo, and you get the drift. Or no-drift as in the vehicle that can't drift 'cos it aint got the drift bags on there, just wheel nuts on the threads, and your diff and front axle stubs are poking out in embarrassment.

No matter how good your story / plot / fiction / non fiction / poem / anecdote / training manual / bible / magazine / newspaper article / post / tweet / blog entry,

you have to get that amazing world changing idea from A to B.



http://rt.com/news/235311-estonia-border-military-parade/

So, with super keen-ness and writer enthusiasm, you rush headlong into telling your reader, the audiences mind, just perzackly what that idea is, and explaining through whatever interesting attention holding strategy you can think up.

But there's the thing. It's too obvious. Poor old reader is going to think,

You know what? I feel like I'm a two year old here, having to have this idea explained to me in such simple terms. The writer of this great story obviously doesn't feel I could work it out for myself. No, I'm considered a drop-kick and a bogan, combined with a twat and, ultimately in this writer's view, I'm a sad voluntease. And so because I feel deflated and put down by the tone of this writer's otherwise excellent story idea, I won't feel inclined to read or buy another of this author's books. No, and I may even abandon wasting my ego and time on the rest of this narrative as well.

(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=voluntease&defid=8106771)

The reader then puts the book down, and walks away to begin the rest of their life. They won't even remember your name.



Ok, so let's put the wheels on that pick up truck.

First off - let's BACK OFF with explaining everything upfront, in that story with your light globe idea in it.

It's a bit like showing and not telling, although I feel that rules are always made to be broken, be warned if you do decide to break or bend a rule severely, be prepared to be skilled enough at doing so to pull it off. Perhaps if you are an amateur like me, you'd be better off just going with the rule book at the moment. Then again, stuff it. Break the stupid rule. Just don't expect to make any money, or impress anyone except your own feelbigography.

Back off with the rush. That's the rear offside wheel bolted on.

Now try building up the tension with baits, with a few red herrings, but a few juicy desires. Create an itchy, appetising, whetting aroma, but don't let the reader see either the menu, or the main course yet.

Back off with the rush
Build the tension

That's both back wheels on your ute.

What else can you do to show your reader that he or she or they or someone, is obviously a cunning with-it, nousey reader?

Well, we all like to read stories that have the special inner circle stuff that only the elitists are allowed to know. Maybe drop a few secrets, and allow a couple of major hints be exposed above the surf, but then let them disappear under that swell as the tide of your novel movement comes in to the readers land of understanding.

A reader with brainpower and wisdom will know something just happened. Oh yes they're onto you. But they don't know what. They know it's sitting there like a tree in a forest. They just can't see it because it blends in with all the other imagination capturing stuff you've written. And forget packing your story with crap. Don't even go there. You can't pretend. Stop even thinking you can pull the wool over your readers eyes and thinking they won't see fake, lazy word fluff. Dodgy grammar and spelling are one thing, but I know from my experiences reading, if it's a good story, mistakes with grammar might be forgiveable.

Thinking I'm a foolish reader who is a lunk headed doofus is not.

Back off with the rush
Build the tension
Bob and weave.

3 wheels. You only have one left to bolt on, but make it count. Don't waste this one.

Bust the whole thing wide open.



Your story has to go from A to Z, not just A to B

Z has to be worth the long drive. It has to be worth that large tank of petrol (gas), especially at today's prices, and the guilty fact that you're probably ruining the environment much faster with the sort of power and momentum you are using up.

Z has to deliver the goods. Whatever your idea, that giving over of all the secrets, making good, passing on your fortune that you promised to the reader in the leadup must be a genuine reward for effort.

But you still don't have to spell it out. They have it coming, yes. They know it's coming. They can feel the humidity, heard the distant rumbling, smell the ozone and even taste a few raindrops and feel them on their expectant skin.

However, the storm is really in their mind, isn't it? You are pushing mind buttons. Don't do all the work for them. Do the least you can, and yet they get it.

New vehicles have to be tested in every phase of development, even the basic seating position and all those boring details.

Read your entire story in one sitting, in private, in a quiet undisturbed place, where you can commit the same undivided attention to it that you expect your readers to, and then ask yourself, do you GET IT? Is it too easy to get?

The books I most enjoy to read, are those that treat me as a very savvy, educated, with it, even trendy individual, who obviously knows his stuff. Any explanations or details are for the characters benefit, NOT the reader. (yes yes yes I realise the details ARE for the reader but it shouldn't be obvious)

Treat the character like a memory challenged goober head, maybe, but never the reader. Even if they are like me, with such a blank memory they can't remember yesterday unless it relates to food or sleep or writing or computer games or clients.

Names, faces, organisational details and all that booha, is just gone out of my head.

There is a time and place, of course. The right words for the right circs. The right level for the right age and maturity. The right amount for the right intellect.



And perhaps the optimum method, like Link said, is somewhere in between.

In between an IQ of zero, and off the chart genius.

Back off with the rush
Build the tension
Bob and weave.
Bust the whole thing wide open.

With both barrels. And a 5.7L burn out.



Holden Ute. 5.7 Litre 6 Speed manual.

Yes, if our plot endings twisted the axles and performed like one of these monsters, our world would transform to satisfied achievement.

You can just have a parade. That's all it is. It's not anyone assembling or preparing to launch World War three at all. It's just a parade for Independence Day.

Or I'm a paranoid published Author, in the land where pigs fly holding pink parasols.

And that hasn't happened. Yet.

Sparky