My Chosen Corner of Crazy

Depression. Risk or reward?

Lately I find myself searching for change. Some way to make myself better, either physically or emotionally, but I don't know where to start. There is so much to fix. The task seems so daunting that I dare not even start. Even worse I fear where this chain of thought may go.

As a person who at times battles depression I fear these thoughts more than almost anything else. They are a slippery slope down the dark rabbit hole of depression, but they are also the only insight into much needed change. I currently walk on the edge of of this hole; fall in and face possible months of arduous battle to regain my footing, or see the truth in the darkness and take that insight back out into the light. Melodramatic as it may seem, this is the truth of my life as a person dealing with depression. At least I know the risks and rewards. I go, not blindly, into that darkness. It will test me, and try my limits. I will fall, but I must pull myself back out. This path is the one I must tread, for it leads to my future and the man I want to become.