Death and Relations Can be Painful

Relationships are HARD

Relationships can be very tiring, very trying, and very time consuming.  It does not matter whether or not the relationship is between husband and wife, mother and daughter, father and son, best friends or lovers.  Each relationship requires the parties to work together in some fashion; to give and take; to compromise; to share secrets that holds them together.

After years of being in these relationships, either or both parties may become weary, agitated or otherwise stressed by the relationship.

Here are some thoughts on maintaining the relationship even when the going gets tough:

1.  Remember the basic rule -- Charity (love) begins at home.  If you do not love yourself, why do you think someone else will.  Take care of your inner body, mind, soul and health.

2.  Be open and honest -- Say what you mean.  Never lie, not even a white lie, if you want to gain and build trust.

3.  Make time to be with the person -- We are all busy and striving to achieve our individual goals.  That's natural, but to do so at the risk of not spending time with the person with whom you are in a relationship is to say that everything else is more important than the relationship regardless if you think they should understand.  Old adage:  Actions speak louder than words

4.  No one gives 100% all of the time -- It would be nice if they did because you would always be working with 200%, but that is almost never the case.  Frequently you will both bring 50% to the table, but that, too, will be rare.  A good relationship may mean a 60/40 split, and both of you may move between the 60/40 spread on any given day.  More often than not the percentage will vary depending on the circumstances.  Be tolerant.  Be patient.  Be understanding.  Be clear about how your relationship works.

5.  Listen.  Listen.  Listen.  -- Even when you think you know the answer(s), it is a good practice to listen to the other person.  A new insight or perspective may be gained just by listening.  We all want to be heard and  valued, but most of all in a relationship, we want our partner to listen to us.  No one else may ever listen to us, but our partner must and will!

6.  Trust.  -- Trust without fear of disappointment, judgment, or expectation of something in return.  It is not a negotiation.  It is not a game.  It is a way of showing another human being how much they are appreciated and valued.