Welcome to My Life

Sometimes I feel like the fish in my optometrist office

A fish swims with its mouth open
Moves from one side of the tank t o t he other
Always moving in the moment
Its gills always moving
Even when it pauses to stare at the wall behind the fish tank
Its gills are still moving
Its more colorful companions
Move up and down while moving back and forth
But the black spotted white fish
Moves from one side to the other
Seldom moving to the front of the tank
Or up to touch it upside down reflection above
Another charcoal fish moves even less
It swims in circles in one area
Or dozes on the bottom of the tank
The orange fish
And the tiger striped fish
Swim through out the tank
Often going to the top
To touch their upside down reflections

Sometimes I feel like these fish, always moving but never getting anywhere. Going back and forth or up and down waiting for the walls of my tank to collapse. Waiting for t he freedom that comes from swimming in the ocean or a river. I swim to the top of my tank, but I cannot jump out so I touch my upside down reflection and then swim back to the bottom because the tank is not deep enough for me to get up enough speed to jump out of the tank.

Sometime I just stare at the wall behind my tank trying to remember what freedom was like and wondering if I ever experienced the feeling or if that is just another dream. At these times, I want to sink to the bottom of the tank and go back to sleep hoping to experience the dream of freedom again.