Time To Get Real

Spring Cleaning

I know New Years is usually the time to make resolutions, but I often find the need to make personal changes in the springtime, particularly around the Ides of March. I consider this time of year to be my own personal Spring Cleaning time. Take that Julius Caesar! XD

And you won't believe what I get rid of. It's not old furniture that I have lying around. I don't try to thin down my book collection. I don't even put my hard copy first drafts into digital formats on my computer.

I review my social relationships, and I review what's working, and what isn't. The first question I ask myself is: Am I fucking my world up? And if I am, is there something I can do about it? Better habits, better food, better ways of expressing myslef, etc. If there's a problem to be fixed, I wholeheartedly believe it starts with me first.

The second question I ask is: Are the people I'm currently associating with worth the time and effort I'm spending on them? I found out around this time last year, and honestly again this year, that I was overrextending myself for people who didn't care one way or the other. Playing a sport with people who are constantly late to practice and undermine your self-esteem is not healthy. No matter how much you want to be a team player. Nope. Not for me. Thank goodness my season ended early. It was a painful lesson, but one I learned well. As for this year's lesson...let's just say I should have walked away a long time ago. There's something to be said about useful criticism. Emphasis on the word 'useful'. Sometimes people simply cannot help you reach your goals, even though they make the attempt to. Such is life.

The third question is: Where do I go from here? How am I going to impliment these changes? The answers I came up with last year, still hold true-get your ass out there and mingle, dammit!-but now I've realized I can be a little bit more choosy with who I spend my time with. I don't have to just join a flag football team I know nothing about just because I want to meet people. I don't have to be a part of this club or the other just because I have a few stereotypes in common with them. I can persue my own interests on my own terms without having to play popularity games. And that suits me just fine.