Blog, Blog, Blog

What Christmas Means to Me...this year

I've never been a materialistic person -- not hard-core, I mean. Sure, I like to have new things that aren't scratched, stretched out, or dirty from use. And even though I realize that "new smell" is often toxic chemicals gassing off the item and up my nose, I still love it. But I'm not driven by the need to have new things. In fact, I tend to keep things that are in rough shape but still functional, well after the average person would have tossed them away.

Christmas is the one time of year that I truly enjoy buying new things. I get a magical feeling as I hold a person in my thoughts and peruse the shops, looking for something special that person will appreciate receiving. This Christmas though, family finances have forced me to scale way back on holiday spending. Usually, I send packages to all four of my sisters and their families, to my parents, my grandmother, and to my husband's family in France. Postage alone usually doubles the amount the gifts cost. It's so hard to face the fact that I just can't do it this year, even though I know all those people love me and understand. I'm reminded again that the material stuff doesn't matter.

I grew up in a large Italian family. Every Thanksgiving at dessert, two hats would go around the table, one filled with scraps of paper with the family's children's names on them, and the other with the grown-ups' names. Each family member chose one name, and that was the person they would bring a present for a month later when we reconvened for the Christmas meal.

As the years went by and the cousins grew up, it became harder and more expensive to provide "good" gifts. One year, my cousin Dayna had an idea. Instead of a regular gift exchange, we would begin what she called Christkin. Rather than individuals in the hat, whole families where written on scraps of paper. Store-bought gifts were not allowed. Each gift had to be something crafted by the whole family, made by their hands as a family project, for the family who would receive it to enjoy. Some memorable Christkin gifts were:

One family with six children made a nativity scene. Supervised by their mom, the children used molding clay to fashion Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus, the three Wise Men, shephards, angels and assorted barn animals, while the dad made a set with barn and manger out of wood.

Another family made homemade hot cocoa mix in a giant mason jar, then painted ceramic mugs for each receiving family member.

Yet another family made coupon books for each family member that included free babysitting services, "library visit" invitations, and "Borrow My ______" coupons.

Even Christkin got hard to do after several years; the creative juices ran dry. The next idea was just as good and was sparked by a family tragedy: In the early nineties, my uncle died of A.I.D.S. It was devastating to our family, but outside of the A.I.D.S. quilt which we contributed a block to for Uncle Mark, we didn't know what to do with our sorrow and energy. A cousin found a website at the time that supported families touched by A.I.D.S. We chose a family whose father had passed away, leaving a wife and three young children. That was all we knew about them; we didn't even know their names.

The website handled all the logistics, and our family went to work. My father has five surviving sisters and brothers, who have produced eighteen children. That equals articles of clothing and items for literally every age. We gathered winter coats and boots, clothing, small appliances, music and video CDs/CD-roms, books, school supplies, car seats...the list went on and on. In addition, each family donated money, and we bought every item on the family's wish list. The rest of the money (there was plenty more!) went to the family as a cash donation.

We never had contact with the family, never met them face-to-face. But we felt a connection with them. Through them and the loving memory of Uncle Mark, we were touched by the Christmas Spirit like never before.

This year, as I shop only for my children, I'm reminded of those Christkin memories and the family we adopted. Santa will still visit our house, and thanks to the money Christian's parents put into our account in France (Euros buy a LOT of dollars!!! ) we'll have "good" presents under the tree. But the kids and I have been making presents for people. We've been tye-dying t-shirts this week and having a ball doing it. Our Christmas Eve party presents that will go into the traditional White Elephant exchange at my cousin's house will be tins from my collection, filled with baked goodies the kids and I will spend the 23rd and the 24th making. I'm looking forward to those memories all ready!

Christmas isn't a materialistic time of year. It's a religious holiday, and an opportunity to touch the hearts of the people you love -- and those who you don't know at all.

~Merry Christmas Everyone!~