I'm Studying You

Consider this a commercial in my life's programming.

Stoggers, I don't have time for a WHAT IS UP. I need to vent, complain, and get to work on time...tomorrow, at 12:45 on the east coast.

After three taxing days at The Wall, with issues happening out of my control, and a four hour shift at Borders thrown in there, this is how I wanted to end my day: by myself, alone in a ball cuddled up next to a large glass of something refreshing, with not a care in the world except for the hope that some sweet music was being delivered by iTunes.

Instead, after racing to pick up J's mom at the airport and getting confused as to where I should be going to pick her up, we drop her gear off at J's sister's (opposite direction), take her and J's dad back to our place where we can change out of our Wall polos and into something decent, drive all over trying to find a place where we don't have to wait so long for a fish fry (and if you're not from WNY apparently, don't ask me what a fish fry is cuz I/m not in the mood to explain), we wait x3, eat, and we foot the bill cuz it's their 40th anniversary this weekend. Mom M decided to surprise Dad M by flying up this weekend, scheduling a cookout at J's sis' tomorrow (how nice...no one knew), I hafta work til 9:30, and if I continue this leg of the story I might explode.

So I will. We drop them off at J's sis' (again, opposite direction), and J decides to light into me when I get home. How we never spend time together, never cuddle on the couch, never do anything, slams things while she's making her grandmother's secret recipe potato salad (and I fucking HATE potato salad), News flash, Studyees: I basically work seven days a week. Sometimes, 14 hours a day. And it's work; it's not all showtunes and handclaps and rubdowns. And some days, I'm fucking exhausted mentally and physically. So I wanna come home, check my shit on Facebook and WDC and have a beer or two and get the eff outta dodge. I would rather do that than sit in front of a fucking tv. I would rather slit my man-candy with a rusty screwdriver than watch tv. I prefer the pseudo-intellectualism that comes with me having to type this out, a mere 15 feet away from her on the couch, than watching another episode of something lame on tv.

Problem is, she's always checking up on me as well. It's not comfortable for me to be bangin' away on the laptop in the living room, it's rude to do it while she's talking, and we usually get the important stuff out of the way when we take each other to and from work. What's the big deal? She knows I'll only watch tv for certain things, and if I feel all "so what" about missing them, no big deal. She knew this going into the whole "us getting together" part. Jeez, I love football and my Buffalo Bills, but I was so freakin' worn out that I fell asleep during most of last week's exhibition game. It used to be "I love having you in the house, even though you're in the next room and I can still see you and know you're there." Now it's "You're always on the computer and never spend time with me." What am I supposed to be doing? Being out on the town, spreading my love to everyone but her?

Forgive me Studyees...I had a whole pissed-off agenda planned, but I can't deal with it tonight...my dad pissed me off because his skin cancer follow-up appointment was moved up, he never called us to let us know, we drove a half-hour to be there for it on Thursday with little gas and little cash before payday, and he never added me as someone who could access his files. Then he wouldn't answer his phone. The voicemail he left me said he was fine. When we got a hold of my aunt, that wasn't entirely the case. I'm more than a little fucking angry about it...the doctor didn't have time to talk directly to my dad, who doesn't hear well to begin with, and he still has pain. So who the fuck knows what's going on, let alone I was supposed to be the one to let my sis in Tampa know what's up. I'm the ears of the operation, and I've been rendered deaf so far. FML.

Meanwhile, good news...on the very same day, same sis got engaged. I'm happy for her, but too damn feeling like something or other to be ecstatic. I think her bf is a great guy, I have no qualms and no doubts she'll be happy. But the timing sucks in a lot of ways. The shit with Pop Diesel, our aunt passing, J's grandmother being sick, the fact that a family member from either side has been in town at any time this summer, and we've had a crappy summer built on rain. Plus, J and I turn 1 as a couple soon. That's gotta take my loyal Studyees back a bit.

With that I bid you all a GOODNIGHT NOW, and hope I het it all sorted out know.