Stuck on you

you started it

It had been a month she’d last talked to him, not the last time they’d seen each other however, everyday at school she saw him, and apparently he had moved out of his house.  It seemed he had finally gotten a good job as a cook at some restaurant.  He’d said it paid good money, that it was his senior year and that he needed to take control of his life…she’d wished him good luck of course; the conversation had been awkward, she could still remember how it’d gone…


         “So you’ve moved out” They were sitting at a small café, they’re old café, where they usually sat down after classes.  It felt weird to be here again, it felt weird to sit here in front of him after everything that had happened. 


         “Yeah…”


         “That’s good, great, you always said you were going to, heh, am too spoiled...”


         “I know…” he said coldly, she swallowed


         “Shane…”


         “You don’t need to do this; ‘we’ don’t need to do this…”


         “Yes we do, we really do…I need to tell you am sorry, am so sorry Shane, I- I don’t know what I what came over me…I just…I” she felt her chest constricting.


         “Its okay, am over it…you see Dona these past month have taught me something, well actually I learned something.  I learned to be the man I am right now, am 24 Dona, am graduating in less than a month, all this time Dona, these years, with you have been a way for me to hold on to us, us as kids, us as best friends…”


         “You’re saying our friendship was nothing…” she swallowed, her throat felt so dry.


         “No Dona, it was something, the best thing…but still, a lie, I  fooled myself into thinking that I wasn’t affected by seeing you with someone else, that every time I was with someone I didn’t wish they were you, that I could share a bed with you and not want you…it’s been building Dona, in here” he touched his chest, his throat was so dry but he knew he had to say this, had to…“I just can’t, whether you had slept with my brother or not, somehow we would have ended up here, it was just meant to be…”


         “No…” she cried out shacking her head, “This wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t…don’t do this Shane, don’t”


         “Am sorry Don, I didn’t do this, am not blaming it on you, but you sure started it, am just goanna finish it, we can’t go back…it’s too late for that…am sorry” he said and took his bag and walked out…


Even thinking about that day brought tears to her eyes, two months, two whole months since they could be considered friends, now, now they were just acquaintances.  He had graduated top of his class, she’d gone to see him, at first she had debated with herself whether that was a good choice, but after her mother and his mother had cornered her, she had had no choice.  She’d tried to hug him…which had ended up awkwardly, to make matters worse, his girlfriend had kissed him right there…she could tell her cheeks were probably stained red right then, she looked down and couldn’t believe right then, she wished she was that girl.