Ten-Finger Exercises

busy day

It's been a busy week, actually. Five new patients, frosty and foggy (but not snowy!) weather, and the second week of our winter grief group. That is an experience in itself.

The first meeting of a new group always seems like a disaster-- at least I can comfort myself with that observation. All of the people who come are people who really need help, but some are more needy and more complex than others. No one ever seems to match up well. One man cries all the time and won't speak. Another wanders in to see what we're doing and talks in a whisper about the child he lost fifty years ago. He tries to sympathize with the crying man, who is not open to sympathy or anything else. One woman lost a significant other because of a botched surgery, and then lost her husband, who had Alzheimers, a few months later. She smiles and laughs through the first two meetings, having disclosed a secret: there's a new man in her life. Another widow tells us how well she was comforted by someone who told her that her husband wouldn't have wanted her to be sad. (She seemed oblivious to the fact that we'd just been talking about the inappropriate comments people make with the best of intentions. Evidently that one came out okay for her.)

It was a small group, and now, with the third of ten sessions coming up, we have three new people who want to join. Normally we'd refuse, but we know these people and know them to be good, stable people who will add a lot to the group. Well, two of them anyway. The third might be a disaster.

My daughter made her quarterly trip to Portland to see the neuro-oncologist today. I was hoping she'd drive down and leave the twins overnight with me, but she decided to fly instead. There's a straight one-hour flight, and she only missed one day of work that way. She's used up all her sick time for the school year, so that's important. And it probably feels good to her to be handling it on her own, gives her a sense of control. I'd probably do it that way myself. I bet she's exhausted tonight though. At least she left a one-liner on Facebook: Lenore has a stable head. I don't think that's anything she didn't already know, but it's good to hear anyway.