Complex Numbers

Burgers and Beer

Everyone knows that burgers and beer constitute a man's perfect meal. I mean, if I were about to be executed for my political beliefs and they offered me a last meal, I'd be like, "Burgers and beer, please."

But there IS a such thing as taking things too far, like these abominations of all that is right and good in the world:

http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2008/07/21/the_7_hamburgers_of_the_apocalypse....

Hamburgers, next to apple pie and statins they're the ambassadors of American cuisine--for better or for worse--and these harbingers of heart disease might be the baddest of all.

Here are 7 over the top hamburgers that are guaranteed to clog your arteries by just looking that them:

I mean, why don't you just slit your wrists and jam the burgers directly into your veins? It'd be quicker and less painful.

And I thought the Krispy-Kreme Bacon Double Cheeseburger was bad. Hell, even if I weren't severely curtailing my burger consumption in the process of overall weight loss, I wouldn't be able to come anywhere near such dread concoctions.

But the news is better on the Beer front. It seems that people are finally starting to catch on to the knowledge that Buttwiper isn't beer. Neither is Miller or Coors, and don't even get me started on the "Lite" versions.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1826878,00.html

High-alcohol brews like Black Butte XX and The Abyss, known in the trade as big or extreme beers, are among many craft beers that are grabbing a growing market share in the United States from their mass-produced and heavily advertised counterparts. Even at prices ranging from $4 to more than $100 for a single bottle.

Well, DUH.

Sales of premium beers, which include the household names of Budweiser, Coors Light and Miller High Life, have been nearly flat — up just 1.9% last year according to Information Resources Inc., a retail research firm.

Sucks if you've got stock in Buttwiper. Or whatever they call it now that it's a Belgian company. And what's up with that, anyway? Belgium makes the best beers. Delirium Tremens, for example. Holy shit, I'm getting drunk just thinking about DT.

Oh, yeah, I know beer isn't exactly helping with the aforementioned weight loss. But what's the point of being thinner if you can't drink beer? It just ain't worth it.