Break the Cycle

Factor/Obstacle: A new way of looking at anger

With all the site drama and members bitching about the rules this past year, I've come to a conclusion about my anger. I'm not ready to resolve it. I'm not ready to break the cycle. I will keep updating this blog as I feel necessary because I still feel it's important to discuss my anger and how it works. Still, because it's been serving as my motivation for so long this year, I'm not about to let go of it, willingly or not. I also anticipating it getting worse as the year winds down to a close. I've spent more than half the year trying to turn my anger into something constructive to benefit the Writing.com community. However, my efforts have largely been in vain, as the melodrama simply escalates. It feels as if it's beyond my control, but my anger tells me not to give up. I stick around for spite and because I know that giving up means the hive mind will win. My pride and my anger will not accept that.

So for now, the journey has gone from breaking away from anger to living with anger, someone who embraces her rage disorder. Sometimes it has its kinetic phases. Other times, it's latent. Perhaps it's progress that I know how my anger works. We'll see. I just think that I might have to cut back on my time here for the sake of preventing myself from having a stroke. I don't care. If 16 year olds can have heart attacks, 23 year olds can certainly have strokes. I'm surprised I haven't given myself one already. Outside of those effects of anger, though, how I handle myself in the future during my kinetic stages remains to be seen.