Mental Meanderings

Feeling Stupid - Aging and Injuring

I must be getting old. Oh, and I'm an idiot. *grins and winces* I used to skate every day when I was a child. Apparently I was skating about as soon as I was walking. Roller skates not ice skates or blades. Figure skating in upper primary school. I always loved it and I kept my speed skates all these years although haven't had the opportunity to get on a rink since high school.

Anyway, today I'd promised to take my kids to the park and I thought, "Yeah, I'd love to get my skates out." So I did, put them on skated over to my mothers and remembered all the muscles I hadn't used in years. But I was loving it and it felt natural. The skates I hadn't worn in seven years just seemed to mold to my feet as if they were a part of me.

We'd shared a delightful breakfast with my mother and were reminiscing about the years of skating I'd done. One year was extra special. My tenth birthday part my mother threw me a party at the skate rink and my friends and family were all invited. My grandmother, who was sixty at the time even got on a pair of skates and was having the time of her life. Right up until she fell and broke her wrist.

Mother and I chuckled about it this morning remembering how much I'd always loved the smooth concrete and feeling the air around me when I'd spin in the center of the floor. I loved doing it when the rink was packed. The center always remained clear for figure skaters and I'd go there while everyone else was doing laps and I'd spin and spin and spin feeling the loud music throb through me and feeling lighter then the stars.

I'd jump and despite being weighted down by this shoes with wheels I could glide through the air. And I'd toe step and skate backwards and do cross overs as if the floor and the skates and my legs and my body were all one object in existance.

Today, I was about to skate down the ramp in the back yard of my mothers house to help my daughter get her bike out so we could do some laps around the park behind the house. Just as I hit the decline she walked in front of me bike and all and my options were to drop and fall or slam into her and who knows what damage that would have caused.

Obviously I dropped and fell. Slammed my skate and let myself fall backwards. Now when you're taught to figure skate they teach you how to fall. They teach you to relax your muscles, don't brace yourself, roll slightly, and land on the soft parts. I did, my skate slammed the back of my thigh, I stayed relaxed and missed damaging my spine or hitting my head on the ground. But I braced myself, landed on my arm and jarred it all the way to my shoulder.

Kaylie (my daughter) watched horrified as I lay there stunned a moment and then gripped my wrist trying to fight back the shafts of pain and just letting myself lay there waiting for it to subside enough to know if I should move or stay there. If you've ever damaged a joint or bone like that you might know that there is a sense to be still until you can judge if it's broken. Kaylie's calling my mother urgently and out she comes and by the time she reaches me I'm telling her I'm fine, it's not broken, just jarred.

It throbbed a little but I really was fine so we went out to the park and had fun me skating, the kids on bikes and my mother walking the dog. A couple of hours later we returned to the house and it hurt, aching, throbbing, so I just settled to rest. My arm always felt cold so Mum slinged it (she's a nurse) and I covered it with my jacket and read and rested.

Now I've been home and I'm typing and so long as I don't move the wrist it's fine. It's definately sprained and I'm bruised. *shrugs* I'm not so fussed about being hurt, if anything my pride copped the most damage. Here I am remembering how great a skater I always was and then I fall and hurt myself. I keep reminding myself that if I hadn't been a great skater I'd have hurt myself or maybe even Kaylie more than I did.

I also think back on all the falls I took. Falling is just part of skating and while my osteo problems meant my kneecaps are shot and my wrists are weak I've fallen hundreds of times and not hurt myself. It makes me realise that I'm getting older. So, I'm feeling a bit silly and a bit old. Still, I'm never going to put my skates away. I'm deliberately having my garage cemented this week. It's been in the plans for two months now and my whole intention all that time is to give me my own rink. Somewhere to skate. I love it and falls happen. Still, means careful typing over the next week or two while it heals.

Meanwhile, time to get to bed and let it rest. And tomorrow I think we'll all be walking to school because I can't push the pram. *chuckles and grins* But as soon as that cement dries, I'll be in there skating, and spinning and leaping, going backwards, and crossing. The years fade away when I skate, and I become one with everything. Skating and writing. Both give me the freedom to be anything and both bring me a peace and comfort that I've never found anywhere else.