Musings and Meanderings

What does growing up mean, anyway

I started on a thread but realized how stupid it sounded - not to me, but to everyone else. That's one of my many demons talking, isn't this supposed to be personal, digging out your soul- type a thing, inner critic go to hell- kind of an exercise? Why the self-censorship? Are my thoughts not as valid as yours?

I haven't kept a journal in years. Or decades. Exposing my thoughts, putting them on paper (or screen) feels alien. Have I been hibernating all these years, keeping everything inside my head and letting the chaos take over? No wonder I feel vulnerable. Angel, where are you? I need you to help me let go and assure me everything will be all right. Just like the old days. Is "growing up" more or less hibernation? Letting a part of you go to sleep and tiptoeing around it, trying not to wake it up? It is easy, safe, uncomplicated. When the sleeping part gets awakened, it creates a mini-tsunami and you are left scared about the consequences. How many casualties? How will you rebuild? Nothing will ever be the same.