AS I SEE IT...

2005 Writing.Com Convention Report

July 21st, 2005
Bethleham, PA

First the plane didn't crash... hey folks, thats a good thing.

If it wasn't for sky taxis (people who push people around airports in wheel chairs), I'd be dead even though the plane didn't crash.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE WITH AIRPORT SECURITY...anywhere...amazing...

Andrea was ready and waiting at the concourse entrance... she is delightful, absolutely delightful. YOUNG & PRETTY TOO. She came a very long way for this event...

There is no coffee or food from the Philly airport all the way to the Holiday Inn at the Gateway Conference Center. Seventy-two miles of no coffee or food. No gas stations either. I AM NOT KIDDING... that must be why the Avis rent a car guy laughed when I said I'd bring the rent car back tanked up... hmmmm, you think?

Back to the no coffee and no food... Sure there was probably coffee and food at the airport, but there is also no smoking. I just wanted to get outta there. How in the world can a person enjoy coffee and food, if I can't sit back and have a MUCH NEEDED cigarette after risking my life just to get here?

I don't know how it is where ya'll live, but I am from Louisiana... where we eat not just because we are hungry, but because the food is GOOD, real good, and so is the coffee!!! In Louisiana, there are bars and restaurants on every cornor, a person has to travel no more than one block to find coffee and food. In Louisiana, I am convinced, "they" build exits off of the Interstate just to build coffee houses, bars, casinos, and restaurants... NOT HERE!!! Somebody really needs to suggest to the people of PA to rethink their food and coffee availability!!!

There is a Steak & Ale across the highway from the hotel where the Writing.Com convention is being held. Wonderful place, absolutely wonderful. Good looking, young waiter too, he's been working at the Steak & Ale for five years. No, I didn't forget I was with my husband!!!

The Writing.Com Convention registration was set up in the Lafayette Room... at least 20 or so other attendees were there... including Viv, Loti, StoryMistress, GoCartCherub, Peanut, WildThing, and so many others I can't remember at this very moment. Oh, and Chriswriter - she is a hoot. I was crazed with hunger, needed coffee desperately, and although it was only about 2:00 or 2:30 when I walked through the doors of the Lafayette Room most of the refreshments had already been picked up by the hotel staff. What? Coffee, no cups! Someone offered me a glass coffee mug. Chocolate cake, delicious, but I NEEDED REAL food.

The hotel had a major power outage due to some poor critter electrocuting itself in a transformer... NO FOOD... that is how the Steak & Ale came into the picture. Rooms were not going to be ready until maybe 4:00 or so... Rick, my husband, and I had been up in excess of over 24 hours... God only knows what kind of first impression I made... ouch!!!

My auction items that I had UPS'ed myself, arrived perfectly fine, but ya'll should have seen the hotel guys face when he offered to take them on a roller cart to the Lafayette Room, and I told him to deliver the boxes and tell StoryMistress these were The Critic's auction items. Oh yes, the Hotel staff is wonderful... but confused by our presence! Tee Hee...

I got the bartender in The Bar With No Name, well that is what "they" call it, to make me what I call a Fruit Salad Drink... I told him how to make it, and he was amused... I was just plain hungry... I don't guess these people know about the drinks we call Hurricanes in Louisiana, either.

I missed the dinner tonight, as I collasped somewhere between 5 and 6 pm. The dinner was originally scheduled for 6pm, but due to the power outage it was pushed back just an hour... regretably I couldn't physically handle it... but there is always tomorrow... Thank God!!!

I will send Rick out to buy a full size coffee pot tomorrow... this three cup coffee pot in our room is just a tease... somebody has a very sick sense of humor. We are not amused.

The goody bag that all of us were given when we signed in at registration was almost too heavy for me to carry. Really!

All of us make a VERY eccletic group - All ages, shapes, and sizes.

Even in the midst of a power outage at the hotel, we filled the lobby with laughter, and from the astonished looks on the faces of the other hotel guest, you'd think none of us talked English.

We all have badges hanging around our necks with our Writing.Com names on them... we are all carrying Writing.Com tote bags filled to the brim with goodies...

Breakfast is going to kick off tomorow's activities at 9 am, but ya'll need to know I'll start eating around 6 am... THEY DON'T HAVE GRITS HERE... What???? I don't think these people are at all prepared for a Louisiana appetite.

No elevators either, but I'll survive... just taking it slow. The pool is georgeous... the view from our room is grand, my husband is a VERY patient man, very patient...


And at this very moment all I can suggest is that each and every one of you REALLY need to plan, budget, beg, borrow, or steal... and do whatever it takes to come to next year's convention.

My darling husband really believes that this is going to be a once in a lifetime trip... HA Good thing he loves me!!!! Wait till we get home and I tell him I want to come back next year.

More later,

Sincerely,
The Critic