Old Decathlon Olympics Journal

Tuesday, Oct 26th: Reading Upsets ME. Ish!

Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

I am so confused. I am beginning to hate this Decathlon. I have been reading and writing my ass off. I have missed a few competition deadlines, and I have had to play catch up in my journal, but I am hanging on to the absolute bitter end.

The Milkman posted a list of scores in the Olympic forum, and he even stated that he knew that some of the scores covered people who had already dropped out. The lowest score on the list was ten. A mere 10 points, all this work and I don’t have a measly ten points. Where do all these POINTS come from? Whatever!

After this month I am going to stay away from contests, and work towards REAL life writing issues, like PUBLICATION, and getting paid REAL money for writing. I am going to file this Olympic Decathlon business under, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”.

Today has been productive; I got my poem written for the Ghostly Goblet of Horror Poetry Contest. It is another Pantoum, why not? I have been required to write so many of them that I am beginning to like writing them. This last one is twisted, who has ever combined Halloween, and Political Commentary into a Pantoum? ME, that’s who.

I read an entry by InkyShadows~Happy Hauntings. My God, the poem is about burying her dead baby boy. I knew I should not have read it. I felt anger, passion, inconsolable grief, physical, emotional, and psychological pain. Death is cruel, especially when visited on the young. Women, who are mothers, suffer so much. Yet, there were her words. What kind of bravery did it take for her to even allow herself to think such words? Write such words? Keep such words, and then share them publicly in an open forum?

Women are singularly amazing creatures.

Four people before me had rated InkyShadows poem; will somebody explain to me how somebody, anybody can rate a woman’s poem about the burial of her child less than a 5.0? What kind of insensitive morons are members of Writing.Com?

I really wish I didn’t let things bother me. I censor my own reading because I know how I react to death, dying and a multitude of other human tragedies. I knew when I read the description I should not have read the poem. It is a good poem, but when I read, I read with raw emotion. The loss of a child at any age is unnatural and not as it should be. NO parent should ever have to bury a child. I fear burying any one of my own children. I didn’t do well when my brothers and I had to bury my daddy either. Yep, I cleared the room in the funeral home, slammed doors, and spend some time alone saying good bye to my father. I only had one child then, and I put her picture inside his coat pocket. After a while my brother came, and I let the other mourners come back. I want talk about chasing my stepmother to her car after the thing at the graveyard. Let’s just say, it is a good thing the cow could run, and although I made a bunch of racket beating up on the car she locked herself in, I didn’t do any real physical damage. So I go over the top, and out of control on occasions that really upset me. InkyShadows poem really upset me, a lot.