A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Keep or Toss?

A great big Hi to all my loyal Thumb viewers out there. I've missed you. Every last one of you. Well...all but one of you. That kinky, fiesty viewer...the one who's been stalking my every move and giving me the willies...the one who's been phoning with late night lip smacking noises and low throaty growls...the one who's into bread bag clips and rubber bands...I've missed you most of all.

As some of the more observant of you may have noticed...I've done a little downsizing. Down from 117+ items to only 5. It wasn't easy trying to decide what to keep and what to toss. Keep or toss? Toss or keep? I tried using a math formula to help me decide...

X =(2x - 117 x viewer's rating) plus # of views divided by # of loggins minus time of reader's view plus 3 (I've never been very fond of the number 3) minus 3 (I'm still not) minus another 3 (just to be certain there's as few 3's in my final item as possible) times the # of Amazing race episodes I've recently missed due to the local TV station airing each new episode at a different time or day (thanks a lot you Bastards) minus yet another 3 (that one's for the Sao Tome phone scam Bastards) plus 2 (I don't have anything against the number 2. I think 2 makes a really nice couple. Don't you? Much better than awkward 3 does) all squared and then itemized and itomized and epitomized and tranquilized...until I finally narrowed it down to these 5. But my worrying and dithering STILL isn't over coz I plan to rotate one of my five items on a daily (hopefully) basis. The highlighted item will be either something new or something old. (Hmmm...what else could it be?)

I'm currently under the belief this journal won't be deleted...because of an old grandfather clause I once read about somewhere. (My journal was started waaaaaaay back when Writing.Com used to be called Stories.Com) I believe it was my first item in my port. Back then I didn't know I could add entries. I thought the title page was it. It made for rather boring journal reading until I figured it out. I also don't know if this journal will be "locked" with me unable to add any new entries. That would suck. Moments frozen in time...speaking of which...

I've been scrambling like crazy trying to copy and save as many of my special emails as possible. There are over 1,500+ of them. I know, I know. I'm a pack rat. It comes from moving around so much in my past and having to decided what possesions to keep or toss. Keep or toss? Toss or keep? I HATE having to decide who's words and thoughts are worthy and who's aren't. I'm not talking about casual comments but about sharing and caring kinda stuff. Some of the special email people are now no longer in my life and not likely to be again. Rereading them has been like looking thru old yearbooks or love letters...which ISN'T something I do regularily BTW...but it's nice to know they're there if I ever need a quick peek or a fond warm feeling or two. I can see how much and how little I've changed...and also how I would have done some things differently in hindsight. Like I said...nostaliga is great but I don't want to dwell on it.

I hope this isn't my last entry in this journal. That would suck. I hope this entry hasn't sucked either. That would also suck. My last time to amaze the world and I blow it by writing a sucky entry. Maybe you could just ignore all the sucky bits? What do ya think? Maybe I should have used another mathematical formula to get this right? Maybe I was too hard on poor old number 3? Maybe if I was more open to the odd threesome I'd have fewer growling stalkers? Oh oh. Now do you see why I did so terrible in math? Math class was all about following rules and finding the correct answers. Hell...all of my answers were correct...to me anyways. I was very happy all of the angles in an isoscele triangle added up to half past four or could morph into castles or spaceships. Try telling that to Mr Foster from grade ten Algerbra and Geometry or Mr Harris' grade twelve physics class. I can appreciate the beauty in order and the comforting feeling it gives some knowing the universe is structured and governed by the laws of math... but in my universe all things are possible regardless of what the numbers say.

Speaking of Mr Fosters and Mr Harris...how come physics and psyhics look so alike? I wonder if that was intentional? I wonder if Mr Foster secretly fancied Mr Harris? I wonder if Mr Harris really was an albino or if it was just an attention grabbing stunt? It worked either way coz he was the one and only albino teacher I ever had. That's not his real name BTW. I've changed it for this entry in case he reads my journal. Perhaps he never realized he was an albino...NOT that's there's anything wrong with being an albino mind you...I just didn't want him founding out in my journal that's all. It never came up in any of my grade twelve physics classes. It's funny how someone spent their time figuring out formulas for isoscele triangles and ignored albinos all together. Squares, rectangles and the speed of light all have their own mathematical formulas...why not albinos? Are there any mathematical formulas or laws governing tickling of pillow fights? I somehow doubt it.

Are you still happy you stopped by? You just can't help yourself can you? No matter how stupid this entry gets you're compelled to read on. I'm not sure if that's sad or inspirational. Now there's a problem for the clergy huh? We have the math types sitting over there governing everything they can fit into their little formulas and equations and the clergy types sitting over there governing everything according to the teachings of their faith. Ever neat. Everything neatly itemized and pigeonholed. This goes here...that goes there...and this doesn't fit in anywhere so it doesn't exist and therefore it gets tossed. Does "therefore" have a final "e"? "Therefor"..."Therefore" If so...why? Why put a fricken silent "e" on the end of ANY word? Just to tell us apart from the foreigners? Or the educated from the uneducated? Or the tinted from the albinos? How very clever.

Skeaking of which...Have you ever noticed the blank spaces in people's writing? No...I don't mean the spaces between the words...I mean the "pattern" formed inbetween words from one sentence to the next. Confused? Glance back up to the paragraph above. See the sentence..."Now there's a problem for the clergy huh?" ? Look at the space between the words Now and there's. Look to the next line below it to the space between the and math. See the pattern? A whole friggin blank "landing strip" just waiting for my alien brethren to land upon. Writing is full of 'em. (Hopefully the final version of this entry will be the same as this edited version otherwise you won't have a clue what I'm on about...but that's okay. You're still loved)

Crap. I just posted this and the edit page is totally different than the final journal page. The words are placed differently and closer together. You'll just have to trust me on this folks. There are oodles of "blank lines" throughout my edit version that form nifty patterns. Rereading this I also see what a terrible speller I am. I suppose words are sacred to writers and here I am butchering the King's English on a site full of writers. Sorry. I suppose I should have paid better attention in school instead of wondering if my physics teacher was really an albino or not. I just had to look up how to spell physics again. It's one of those words I can never get right. All the phy words and the psy words and the psi words frig me up. How come a "p" can sound like an "f" anyways? Maybe it's because a "F" and a "P" almost look the same they may as well sound the same too.

Well I best scoot. I need to get ready before I go out later. I'm glad you stopped by. Hopefully this will still be here the next time you do.

Shine on

gary





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