Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails

Why me, Lord?

My faith sustains me when nothing else does. When my determination, which keeps me going when I have no go left, finally deflates; when I can't force myself to take another step; when my body and spirit both say "no way"; when I feel as if life no longer seems liveable; my belief that God does care and watch over me allows me to continue. However, sometimes even faith seems to disappear, and I'm left floudering, lost, and very bewildered. Then I find myself asking, "Why me, Lord? I know your word says you'll not burden us with more than we can bear, but I don't want to know how much I can bear. I am NOT curious."

The last few days have been times of testing, I guess, and I'm not sure I passed. My body ached beyond measure. Sleep didn't appear, apparently, on my list of "to do" things. The least small endeaver left me exhausted. I haven't even written in my journal because every ounce of energy was drained by reviewing a few posted entries and answering comments and emails. Nothing hard for me to do, usually, but I just couldn't do one more thing.

Why me, Lord? You know how much I love writing, how it's as necessary to me as breathing. You give me the words and the desire; so why are they now hidden?

Why me, Lord? You know how much I enjoy interacting with the other writers on the forum, how I feel as if I'm contributing, helping; so why does it now take me thirty minutes to do what just a short time ago took me five or ten?

Why me, Lord? You know how much I love and enjoy my grandchildren, attending their activities, being with them. You have loaned them to me for this short lifetime; so why do I not have the strength to go where they wait?

Why me, Lord? Ah, do I hear You answering why not me? Are You telling me that You know that I may question but still search for Your hand to lead me? Yes, Lord, I ask for Your hand to guide me and for Your love to surround me and for Your strength when mine fails. Most of all, I ask for You to fill me and to forgive me for allowing my faith to waver, no matter how slight.

Viv

Sugar, spice, snails, puppy dog tails  (ASR) Jots of thoughts as they flit through the rummage of my mind. #551218 by Vivian

** Image ID #553842 Unavailable **