Continuously Kept

Friends are everything

Have you ever just had that incredibly fabulous feeling when you know that even though you are alone... you aren't? And it's not scary or anything... more like exhilirating... I don't know I just keeping thinking about how all my friends back in good ol' VA... they haven't forgotten me like a lot of places have... once I left they didn't care. Well all the friends I have back in VA, they are all such wonderful people, and I have talked to all the ones that matter to me most. It's such an incredible relief... I love the fact that I can call people, or just talk to them online and I know that I can still count on them to be there for me. Talking to my boyfriend, Alex, last night... he was complaining that I have a really low self-esteem level. So I was talking to one of my best friends, Caitrin, this morning, who is also very insecure, and we figured out what it is that has set our minds to these levels. Both of us have fathers in the military, and moving around has made us contemplate how to make friends and such. So it wasn't at all a surprise to find that we both had very similar experiences in the past where we were the lowlifes. Well for both of us... it was in a Catholic school. They have such a small number of kids that all of them grow up together extremely tight-knit... and they just don't allow strangers into their circle. So when she was in fifth grade, and when I was in sixth grade... we both had problems fitting in. That was the only time that we had ever gone to private schools, and I am very thankful that it was the last. Those kids just torchured me... Hanson was the big group back then... but only on the east coast... so having come from Virginia I was totally set on them as my favorite band. Well Northwest kids have slightly different opinions on music, and they were all into Metallica and heavy metal... of which my parents didn't allow me to listen to(they have problems keeping me away now), so these boys... who I must admit were pretty cute... they would make fun of me relentlessy for thinking that Hanson was so wonderful... So then came the schools' talent show... and these boys had a rotten streak... they decided that three of them were going to wear blonde wigs, and get up there and lip synch to MMMbop... I think that was the worst day of my life... I laughed with the other kids... but the second I got home I burst into tears. What is wrong with kids? Being cruel seems to be the trend... but isn't being nice so much more fun? I have never had pleasure in upsetting people, I hate to leave things unresolved. Well, to say the least... now that I am back out in the Northwest... the only one who I am seeing is my best buddy Nicole, she's the only one who truly stuck by my side the whole time, so she's a very worthy candidate of the "best friend" title... So, to say the least, Caitrin had a very similar situation in California... luckily we both found great friends in high school, and we are just lucky to be around people who have the same moral standards as us... no drugs... no sex... and best of all, never give up on true friendship.