My Life, My History

From My Google Map List

*In progress*
Got an email from Google saying they were changing some stuff up on Google Maps so I thought I should move these pieces of me, from my life, from my history from there to here before they change shit up.

This is the email they sent:

You are receiving this email because you have previously created a public list on Google Maps
Hi Chantelle Marie,
We want to let you know of changes we’re making in November to public lists on Google Maps. No action is required from you.
Here's what you need to know:
1. Lists will no longer be visible on your Maps profile: With the change to shared lists, you’ll no longer be able to publish lists to your Maps profile. You’ll still be able to find all your lists in the Saved tab.
2. Lists can still be shared via a link: You can still share your lists with others via a link in messaging apps, social apps, email and more.
3. Your ‘public’ lists will be relabeled as ‘shared’ lists: Your existing public lists will automatically be converted to shared lists. The lists themselves won’t change: titles, places, and descriptions added will remain as-is. Please visit our Help Center for details (Android, iOS).
4. You’ll keep your points: All points you earned for publishing lists will remain. However, moving forward you won’t receive points for creating lists. Please visit our updated Help Center for more information.
We appreciate your understanding and support as we work to improve the list experience on Google Maps.
For more details please refer to our Help Center.
Thank you for being a valuable member of the Google Maps community.
The Google Maps Team

https://maps.app.goo.gl/hJVFQnJnidXCbyHL7
Alpine Heavy Truck & Equipment Repair
960 Henry Eng Pl, Victoria, BC V9B 6B2

I used to work in this department/division of Evergreen Industries dba Alpine Disposal and Recycling etc.

I worked here on Saturdays and whenever they needed coverage. JT and NF worked in the office there. The heavy truck and equipment repair, welding and paint shop, landscaping, and slinger and transport ran out of this office. We also did work, such as invoicing and taking payments for the detail shop. We were a contact point for all those divisions and often advised customers on services, scheduled appointments for various services, did up estimates and quotes for work, and took care of customer and internal invoicing/accounting/inventory.

The slinger and transport divisions ended up under my care and direction, with oversight and some direction from the operations manager and sometimes the general manager... and of course, the main owner of the company, who was also the Mayor of Langford for many, many years.

I worked really closely with the sort yard too, which was right across the street to arrange for roll off bins and trailers of various waste and recycling to be loaded and shipped to other locations.

There was a parts shop right next door too. The dudes there were cool to talk to. They even invited me out to go paintballing with them once. It was my first time so I wasn't really sure how it all worked, but I had fun regardless! When I got home later, I noticed that I had a few really nice big bloody purple welts from getting shot. I guess they stung a bit during the game, but not too much. I ran around mostly with boys growing up so learned to toughen up and handle my own shit as to not get laughed at and called a fuckin' wuss, lol!!! No regrets.🫡

Broadway at Halsey St
Brooklyn, NY 11233, United States

Roadside fruit and veggies stand. Lots of these little stands/vendors and tiny market shops around Brooklyn and Upper Manhattan—which I am very appreciative of and feel good about supporting and recommending.

These little shops have quality produce that is actually affordable... as opposed to the vast majority of grocery stores who obviously jack up their fucking prices to make as much of a profit as possible. How many fucking stores do you need to franchise out? I thought competition was good for a capitalist free market economy.... You reduce prices to drive out small businesses, then, when they are hurting, you buy them up and crank up your fucking prices because you have a monopoly. Do y'all really need your golden fucking palaces studded with diamonds—all a courtesy of slave labour? Fuckin' morons.

Oh, and you ensure to fuck over small businesses even more with permits coming out the Ying yang and you tax the shit outta them to boot! Stupid motherfuckers.

But we're all just numbers on a spreadsheet, right? Disposable bodies like the Disposable single serve society of plastic fucking garbage. You value nothing because you are unable to see with both eyes. All you got is your stupid Mr Planters peanut monocle. Dumabsses. Maybe y'all wouldn't be so miserable if you came down from your palaces and looked around at the world and interacted with us lesser people. We're not all as fucking dumb and worthless as you think we are.

59-14 70th Ave, Ridgewood, NY 11385, USA
This is where they send the ancient ones, such as myself, to receive "help". I am far beyond my expiration date. There is no use for me. I require a cane to walk and I cannot even bend over and touch my toes. It is far too difficult for me to keep up with the young ones. I can barely even walk one block without getting winded. Perhaps they can pre-chew my food for me.. somewhat like an owl. But I will not eat foodstuffs that has been regurgitated. That is yucky. I can't even make myself puke. I tried. I failed. I managed to puke up one bite of a pizza once. I learned to hold my vomit in because my grandmother got very distressed when I vomited as a kid from the stomach flu. She yelled at me from the bathroom door and told me to stop vomiting while I was sobbing about not being able to stop and not being able to breathe because I was throwing up so much. I am now like a horse or a rabbit—2 species that are unable to vomit. And that concludes today's biology lesson. Thanks for coming to my TED talk via Google Maps. 🤘

Went here today, 5 April 2024, for my free consultation with a lawyer. There is no assistance for integration for people like me unless someone in my immediate family is/was a USA citizen or I get married to someone who is a USA citizen. If I had no documentation and came here illegally through the southern border, there would be other avenues and options for me to find gov't/taxpayer funded assistance, housing, and employment.
Thus, I will go my own way and figure it out in my own. I will provide further updates through various online communication methods as long as the big tech people allow this lowly and barely human individual to write about my experiences and share them for free with anyone in the world who may be interested. I wouldn't be surprised if they ban me from using any and all of their services to write about my experiences and share my poems, drawings, photographs, and reels for eternity sometime soon. Who knows! \o/
Until then, cheers everyone. Happy Friday and enjoy the weekend.

Rockheights Elementary School, 1250 Highrock Ave, Esquimalt, BC
Went to school here from 1988-1991
Grade 3: Mrs. VanEerden
https://flic.kr/p/2pypGZi
https://flic.kr/p/2pypGZi
(This is this class I played the song, The Rose, in)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CojN-H0rFu1/?igsh=MXJramN4d3dxdWM1ZA==

Additionally, I think she was the teacher that officially got the class, or maybe it was just Paul Mick and I, "tested" (not 100% sure, we may have written our tests while still attending Hampton). After the test results, we attended a "special" class every Friday. Sometimes, we got to go on field trips and do other cool stuff that was way more interesting than regular school.
"Visualize a polar bear; think of nothing else but the polar bear..."

Grade 4: Mr. Shortt

https://flic.kr/p/2pwUiZA

Grade 5: Mr. McKinnon
https://flic.kr/p/2pwSXPA
**My S.P.E.C.I.A.L. classmate from Hampton/Rockheights/Craigflower is standing behind me in this photo. His mom made awesome cupcakes. I remember being at his birthday party one year and playing pin the tail on the donkey and having to drop clothespins in a Mason jar for prizes. His/his parent's house had a beautiful grand piano on the main level right when you walked in, and a big sweeping staircase heading to the upper level. He lived right by the school, I think just across the street.

Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary - Christmas Hill Site
4.7(41)
Nature preserve · Saanich
Open 24 hours
Cool park. First time doing mushrooms was near here. Was around 1994. Think I was with my buddies "C", "P", and "G". There's actually a photo of "G" on my Instagram page dressed as a nun for Halloween. I remember we were sitting near a fence and there were cows on the other side (no, we didn't go cow-tipping, lol). I remember we were all pretty quiet and I spent most of the trip writing and drawing in my journal. I still have a pressed flower taped to that page of my book from that day.

Leeds Park
4.1(8)
Park · Victoria
Open ⋅ Closes 11 p.m.
Hangout spot in the early 90s for a bunch of us that'd walk home together after school.

Peacock Hill Park
4.8(38)
Park · Victoria
Open 24 hours
Used to hang out here with my buddies and smoke weed. Usually rolled up or in a pipe. I had a corn cob pipe and my buddies usually had soapstone pipes or ones that were pieced together from spare parts found in metalwork or mechanic classes.

Burger King
$ · Restaurant · Vancouver
Permanently closed
Dine-in/Drive-thru
I used to come here frequently after squeegeeing (washing windows) at the corner of Main/Terminal (1997-1999).
https://goo.gl/maps/h9LDzDUjMvjKv6C97

https://goo.gl/maps/h9LDzDUjMvjKv6C97

One day, I think it was in 1998 (maybe May?), the manager offered me a job. I was super excited! The people there who trained me were all very nice. I liked everyone there. I worked as a cashier and an expediter (I think that was the term for the people who got the food together once the order was placed). It was especially awesome because a lot of the customers who came in recognized me from washing windows. I felt good to be actually working and making money at a "real job" for once.

Unfortunately, I was only there for 3 weeks. My "boyfriend" was unhappy that I wasn't bringing in money daily and said I wasn't making enough as a wage for it to be "worth it". He pressured me to quit, well, he basically demanded that I quit. I did what I was instructed to do after some arguing. I tried to convince him to let me keep working there, but he wasn't having it. I had to do what he told me to otherwise, I would suffer consequences and possibly my family would too.

I never got a chance to thank the manager properly for the opportunity, or adequately explain why I left. I wouldn't have been able to explain at the time anyhow. I was very embarrassed and ashamed because I didn't have any real control or volition of my own.

I truly appreciated being offered the chance to work somewhere and learn on the job. I wish my circumstances were different, as whenever I was not with him, I was able to make my own choices and was always much happier and more free. I wanted to stay, but was unable to leave this "man" that I was with at the time.

Thank you and all of your staff. I have never forgotten any of you and I never will. You were all very kind! I hope all of you are doing very well, wherever you are and whatever you are doing now. ❤


Edit note
Kea Foods
2.9(13)
Grocery store · Vancouver
Permanently closed
I used to come here routinely for the 3 for $1 vegetarian samosas. Probably between April 1997 and July 1998. They had amazing samosas! I think they had chicken and beef as well, but I think those were 2 for $1. I sometimes bought fruit and vegetables and other things here as well.

There were a few times that I stole potatoes and onions from their outdoor section. I think I stole an apple once or twice as well, but only because I was truly very hungry and had no money! I hope I didn't cause your family too much inconvenience and too much loss of income. I figure I probably stole about $10-$20 worth of food in total, so nothing super crazy or anything.

The "boyfriend" I had during this time dictated to me what he wanted to eat and it was my job to get what he wanted. If I wasn't making enough money, or if I wasn't making money at all from washing windows or from asking for spare change or from returning bottles/cans, then I had to figure out how to appease him. I remember one time, he demanded that I go get some potatoes and onions from the store so he could eat. I only grabbed a bag of potatoes and came back. Had the ketchup, salt, pepper, and potatoes, but no onions. He was so pissed off that I didn't get the onions and demanded that I go back and get the onions because he couldn't eat the potatoes without onions... and I didn't want him to starve, did I? He would threaten me and complain so much, so I had to go back up and get the onions. I hated stealing food! I always felt so guilty and ashamed for doing it. I never wanted to be that person, but I did what I had to do to appease him and keep myself from harm, and my family that he always threatened when things would escalate during arguments.

He wouldn't eat the food from the free places as he said it was awful food that no human should have to eat. I never thought there was anything wrong with the free food places, but he figured he was someone "superior" and "above" eating at "those places". Like the cheese church. I think they gave out sandwiches a couple of times a week. I liked their food, but he complained all the time and it was never filling enough so I always had to find more food for him. Same with the food bank. They were only open i think once a week, maybe once every two weeks. He wouldn't eat the food as it wasn't "good enough" for him. I ate it and would go out and make money so he could get what he wanted. Usually some McDonald's meal or Burger King meal or Subway.

There were even a few occasions I ate food that I found in dumpsters because I was so hungry. I had to feed him first and that sometimes meant I went for the day or even longer without food. He would mock me for doing it, tell me I was disgusting, but there were a few times that I was just so fucking hungry I couldn't pass it up! I remember one time finding a half a pizza in a dumpster. It wasn't moldy or anything and looked decent. There were some coffee grinds on it so I just brushed it off and sat in the dumpster and ate a few slices. I'm sure there are many people who are/would be totally disgusted by this, but when you are that hungry and desperate, you do what you need to do to keep going, to survive.

Anyhow, I used to come here and buy food sometimes after I escaped from my ex-boyfriend and was working at a real job and making money/supporting just myself. The store owners were nice and I always thought their store was nice inside and outside. Food was always good and I loved the selection of goods they had from India. There was lots of good snacking nuts and spicy dried chickpea "nuts" and crackers. I still like all that stuff! Probably inherited that from my Grandfather as he's the only one in my family that liked Indian food.


Edit note
Hasty Market
4.7(62)
Convenience store · Vancouver
Open 24 hours
In-store shopping

Add note
AL-An'am Halal Meat & Food Production
3.6(67)
Butcher shop · New Westminster
Closed ⋅ Opens 10 a.m. Wed
In-store shopping
From what I remember, this place used to sell donairs/falafels back in the late 1990s. Food was bloody amazing, very affordable and filling, and the staff were always very kind and friendly. ❤


Edit note
453 E 6th Ave
Vancouver, BC V5T 1K7
Lived in the basement suite here back in 1997. It used to be a very old house that leaned to one side. It was painted pink and purple. One of the girls who lived here created vegetable plots in the backyard. She was amazing at gardening! I remember she told me she was raised by her dad. I'm not sure what happened to her mom. I don't think her dad had a clue how to raise a child. She told me he made her plain toast and black coffee (no milk or sugar/sweetener) for breakfast. She didn't get the love and care she needed. She was neglected as a child, as far as I could gather.

I remember the house had a termites nest in the floor and mold growing on the inside of the walls. Whenever you would flush the toilet, take a shower, or run water, you could hear the water running inside of the walls. The pipes were old and not maintained, so water leaked into the walls. That's why there was mold growing on the drywall. There was no proper flooring. Just subflooring. Plywood. It was a home regardless. Lots of us lived here. Good people. To all of you except my "boyfriend", I hope you are all still alive and okay. I remember you all. You will always each hold a special place in my heart. ❤

This house eventually got condemned by the city and we all got kicked out. That sucked so bad as there were about 9 of us that had to find places to go live, which isn't easy. Me, my "boyfriend", "S" and his girlfriend,"J", "P", Chief, "K" (or maybe C, not 100% sure on the spelling of your name, could start with a K and could be a C)", "R", and his girlfriend, "B". R and B were frogs, lol! ❤️

No one likes renting to people on welfare. Welfare in Canada has the landlord fill out an intent to rent form, then social services pays the landlord directly. Sounds like a great idea, but the problem is that there is a lot of discrimination as people don't want to rent to you if you are on welfare. You immediately become an untrustworthy person once most landlords find out you collect welfare. You may have a great meeting with the landlord, but as soon as they find out you are on welfare, everything changes and they suddenly don't really like you anymore and their tone isn't so friendly. They may have even agreed to rent, but that usually changes quickly once they know you are "one of those lazy welfare people".

Anyhow, that's how I ended up living/sleeping on Jericho Beach and then living/sleeping under the Cambie Street Bridge.

Here's a few photos of the inside of the house back before it was demolished:

https://flic.kr/p/2oiqKFJ
https://flic.kr/p/2oiC9wu
https://flic.kr/p/2oiybPw


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Provincial Court of British Columbia
3.4(9)
Courthouse · Victoria
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
https://youtu.be/g-38GX2YQig 🤘❤️‍🔥

I had to go here in 1997 to testify at my "father's"

https://twitter.com/TheRealAgent_99/status/1640992508728709120?s=20

court trial. Most people dress up all nice for court, but I proudly showed up to this stupid fucking pedophile's trial wearing my ripped up camo pants with my bullet belt, my "God Save the Queen" Sex Pistols shirt with the sleeves torn off, and my spiked leather dog collar.

Extra side note:
I was so fucking angry at this motherfucker after the whole rape case (from August 1996), I threw a house party and invited a bunch of my friends and acquaintances from school for a house wrecker. I encouraged people to trash the house and we even tossed the stove down the stairs to the basement. I think it was rather therapeutic in getting out some of my anger for this asshole.

More info on my "father" can be found in paragraph 14&15 of this entry in my book here:
https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1040940-Background-Information


Edit note
Vancouver Public Library, Central Library
4.7(1,781)
Public library · Vancouver
Main library in a grand colonnaded space
Open ⋅ Closes 8:30 p.m.
https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1040940

Paragraph 17&18
I grabbed my belongings and left. It was 4am. I walked from the westside of Vancouver to downtown. I sat outside at a table and chair set at the library. The library was always my sanctuary when things would get crazy at home, so I guess that's why I immediately went there.

I remember dozing off and having my head against the table when a security guard in a yellow jacket suddenly woke me up. He told me I had to leave because I wasn't allowed to sit there. I didn't argue. I grabbed my backpack with my belongings and left.

Rockheights Elementary School · Victoria/Matoolia
Went to school here for grades 3, 4, & 5. 1988-1991.

Grade 3:
https://flic.kr/p/2pypGZi

Grade 4:
https://flic.kr/p/2pwUiZA

Grade 5:
https://flic.kr/p/2pwSXPA

https://www.instagram.com/p/CojN-H0rFu1/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


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880 Vernon Ave
Victoria, BC V8X 2W6
Battin Fielding. Low income neighbourhood complex run by BC Housing. Lived here from 1991-1997. Last I went by it had been torn down. Looks like they are building more fancy fucking condos here. Sometimes they advertise them as ‘affordable’. Sure, affordable if you work 2-3 jobs. This province is a fucking joke.

https://twitter.com/TheRealAgent_99/status/1645173074772512768?t=GW_1omDAdtE1cpG...

https://twitter.com/TheRealAgent_99/status/1645166782548951040?t=K-94Fv28Bc3fVOb...


Edit note
Dropped pin
(48.457482, -123.373313)
1991-1997
Used to come here and play basketball a lot. Mostly just by myself. Sometimes, my cousins would shoot hoops with me when they would visit. Didn't ever really like those guys very much... only 3 of my cousins are truly decent human beings. The rest of them are just shitty little pricks lookin' for chicks to suck their stinky old dicks, lol!

The apartments buildings here were all low income and most of the people living in them had physical and mental handicapps. They had a little games room in the basement and I used to visit and hang out with them frequently. They were all super cool and taught me how to play pool! They gave me full access to their basketball court and let me hang out and chat whenever.

I used to run into all the cool people I met in the neighbourhood while playing outside at 880 Vernon too. I spent a lot of time bouncing tennis balls off of walls, hitting pinecones around with racquets, bouncing around my soccer ball in the air, and throwing my football by myself because I didn't have many friends. Sometimes my uncles or my mom would hang out and play for awhile, and sometimes the people I met in the neighbourhood would play for awhile. Some of them just used to stop by and chat and tell me silly jokes. They were all really nice people. I learned a lot from them all! Especially about how to enjoy life and not care about what other people think or say because you are 'different' from them.

880 Vernon was where I lived with my grandmother (and sometimes my mom lived with us too). It was called the Battin Fielding complex. It was a bunch of low income apartments and little townhouses/rowhouses run by BC Housing. We waited on a list for a year or so to get in there because my grandmother couldn't afford the rent in Esquimalt after my grandfather died.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0Bofub85kXtVogFxzC2L17Ux1VBiQCp...


Edit note
236 E Broadway
Vancouver, BC V5T 1W3
Used to panhandle here sometimes. 1997/1998. Next to the $1 slice pizza place.
Sometimes, I would bring a book to read. I know I read Naked Lunch by William S Burroughs while sitting here.
I also read Psalms from a white leather bound King James Bible that belonged to my mother at one point. I didn't want to live the life I was living and didn't know how to get out of the situation I was in with the "man" I was with. I remember reading Psalms and crying. I prayed. I didn't know what else to do sometimes so I prayed for help. Nothing rained down from the sky, but I made it out alive so I'm sure there was something to it..... but, ultimately, I always had to help myself out. I knew how to survive, from the time I was 5.
I spent a lot of time writing and rhyming while I lived on the streets. That's how I kept my fucking sanity. And besides, what's that line? God helps those who help themselves? Not sure what God really did for me. Got a bunch of people who preach to you to get down on your knees and repent for your sins, but what a fuckin'mess they all in because their Catholic church abused the Indians! Colluded with the Canadian government to abuse and kill all their children!
Really, I got out alive because I just kept on walking along the only path I ever had, doing my best with the cards I got dealt. Don't give a flying fuck about "God's fucking wrath". I got my ancestors beautiful gift of the craft from an ancient time buried deep in the past. Don't care about all you fuckers who laugh. Most of you can't even understand what's actually going on in places like Iran. Can't follow half of the things I wrote. Too fucking stupid to understand most of what I post.
The true goats and poets though, yeah, they fucking know it. And they ain't afraid to fucking show it through their podcasts and rhymes and the things they got on their timelines. ✔️❤️‍🔥


Edit note
Penelakut Island
4.7(15)
Island
Island reserve home for Penalakut people
A message for the people🪶

You and Breezy are beautiful and real. I greatly admire your bravery, tenacity, and resiliency... though my heart fucking bleeds and is filled with grief for your community's unmet needs.

https://twitter.com/TheRealAgent_99/status/1644852171194896385?t=R3HQG7sd64A5Ciq...


Edit note
863 Fleming St
Victoria, BC V9A 5V3

Add note
Pigeon Park
3.3(468)
Park · Vancouver
Informal plaza with benches & artwork
Open 24 hours
**This is the "borderline" between east and west in Vancouver. The westside has a lot of fancy stores with fancy people wearing fancy clothes, with fancy things, they lookin' down their noses...
The eastside has a lot of poverty, but there's real awesome fucking people here!❤ There's no need for a bunch of fancy-pants fucking bullshit.

Sometimes I would come here and chat with people. Usually more than a few people sitting on the benches, mostly drinking rice wine back in the day. Met a lot of really nice people in this park. Learned a lot from them all as well.

Huge respect for them being able to find a reason to live and carry on despite all the darkness. I know a lot of people just see "these people" as "problem people" that need to be fixed or helped, but some of them are already doing the best they can with the cards that life dealt to them. Perhaps you don't agree with their way of life and how they "choose" to self-medicate, but for some people, that may be the only way and only "lifestyle" they have ever know. If you grow up surrounded by nothing but poverty and addiction, it is "normal" to you. That's just life. Just like if you grow up in a village in extreme poverty with nothing: no electricity, no running water, no appliances, no amenities, growing your own food and sharing clothes - that is simply your normal. Everyone else around you lives the same way, so why would it seem "inappropriate" or "improper"?

If your parents are drug addicts and introduce you to drugs at a young age, it's just the way it is. You don't know any different.

I guess a lot of people can't really wrap their minds around that being a fact. I think there's some people that might understand things more if they actually took the time to walk these streets and talk to the people who live here with an open mind and open heart.

We all have our addictions, legal and otherwise. Some people drink alcohol, some pop pills, some drink coffee, some exercise obsessively, some people are workaholics, some are shopaholics, some are addicted to the internet and/or recognition and are always chasing the next way to get their dopamine hit by getting lots of attention from what they post on social media or talk about on their podcasts or YouTube videos. It's just that some addictions are considered to be more "acceptable" than others.


**I miss living in East Van. Right now, I'm stuck living on this stupid fucking island of British Hell in the Capital Regional District of BC. I keep looking at rental properties in the EastEnd/Eastside of Vancouver, but all I find are stupid fancy studio condos and air bnbs. I'd be happy with a "slum" like I used to live in! I'm not paying $3000 a month for some "new and improved" studio apartment because it has a bunch of useless fancy details and new appliances. What happened to all the cheap hotels with the monthly rental fees? How do I access that shit now? Also, new appliances are shit! I'll take a fridge and stove from the 70s or 80s over the new plastic bullshit they put in the "new and improved" condos and housing. The old shit works better and last way longer!


Edit note
1065 Seymour St
Vancouver, BC V6B 3M6
This used to be a free clinic here back in the mid-late 90s. I used to come here all the time when I needed medical care. While it's true that in Canada, you don't pay the doctor directly, you still have to pay for things like prescriptions and such. Most of the time I came to the doctor, it was because I needed a pregnancy test or medications. Those things are not "free" under our "universal health care" in Canada. The free clinic usually had sample packs of various antibiotics and such so we could actually treat our ailments. If you go to a regular walk-in clinic, they can write you a prescription for "free", but you still have to pay to get it filled somewhere. Also, most of the doctors at the walk-in clinics do not have kind bedside manners towards homeless people. Some of them have zero bedside manners even when you aren't homeless.**

I took pregnancy tests whenever my period was late. Birth control costs money and I didn't have money to spend on that. I was with my "boyfriend" from April 1997 - October 1999 and I didn't get to choose what to spend money on. If this doesn't make sense to you, you can read more details here:

https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1040675-Introduction

**I went to a walk-in clinic when I was no longer homeless and had been working at White Spot for about a month. This would have been early October 1999. It was shortly after I got my face smashed in by my ex boyfriend. The full details on that can be found here:

https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1041128-A-Jacket-Saved-My-Life

I saw a lady doctor at the walk in clinic I think it was SE Marine Dr and Main St. She was not kind to me at all. I have never had a lady doctor that I liked and I have had very few encounters with female professionals/bosses/employers that I could describe in any kind of positive light. I have found most of them to be nasty fucking bitches, but that's just my experience. (The awesome animal doctor at Helmcken is an exception to this: you are a bloody fucking amazing human being and a rockstar doctor!)
Anyhow, I went to see the doctor because I was wondering if my nose was broken or if I should be concerned at all about how bruised and swollen both my eyes were. I told her my "boyfriend", whom I was no longer with, had punched me in the face. Without warning, she grabbed my nose and squeezed it hard then told me there was too much swelling to tell if anything was broken.

I walked out of the clinic after my "professional diagnosis" feeling even worse than when I walked in. My nose and eyes were throbbing and I felt like I'd wasted her oh-so valuable time with my obviously stupid question. I mean, why would a doctor care or show any concern about some stupid 19 year old girl dumb enough to get punched out by her boyfriend, right?


Edit note
Stanley Park
4.8(44,174)
Park
Sprawling urban park with scenic seawall
Closes soon ⋅ 5 p.m. ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
Used to come here after work routinely to smoke a joint or two with my best friend who worked with me at the Grand Casino. ❤️
I remember when the best friend I ever had in Vancouver bought his first car. It was a black Saturn. It was a ni e care. Didn't need no shiny bling bling. I never met his parents, but I believe they raised him well and instilled mostly good values. At least, that was the sense I got from our multiple conversations surrounding a variety of subjects. He visited me once in the Capital Regional District. I showed him around town and took him to Beacon Hill Park. It was a good visit. I lost my cell phone shortly after that when I was at the Bay Centre. Lost all my contacts. I did have them all written in phone book, but all my stuff was in a storage locker that wasn't easily accessible. It was all in a big wooden crate.

By the way, "S", I kept my end of our pact and stopped drinking, lol!! What about you? 🎲


Edit note
Hampton Elementary School
Primary school · Victoria
Permanently closed
Went here for Kindergarten, grade 1 and grade 2. 1985 - 1988.
https://flic.kr/p/2puAsop
https://flic.kr/p/2nMXSQ7

I remember walking to school with my best friend, C. Ngo and her older sister, "K". She was in grade 6 or 7. She had 2 brothers as well, an older brother named V and a younger brother, "D". They were all super cool, even though one day "D" threw a bucket of water, or maybe it was a water balloon, on me one day from the window of the upstairs bathroom. I remember her mom got pretty mad. She took me inside and dried me off with the hair dryer, lol! She was a super sweet lady. Her whole family was awesome. ❤️


Add note
Vancouver General Hospital
3.4(583)
General hospital · Vancouver
Open 24 hours
1999. Found out I was pregnant shortly after relapsing on heroin and dropping out of school (again). Told my "boyfriend". He immediately told me I had to abort it. I had to go in twice for the same procedure as after the first visit, I got a call from the hospital that they didn't "get all of it". I was horrified. I was told how disgusting I was by my "boyfriend" having half a baby left in me, but he is the one who told me I had to abort it in the first place.
Naively, when I initially found out I was pregnant, I was kind of excited and happy because I thought it might be the catalyst to end the abuse. Stupid naive thought, but I was only 18 years old.
I had to go back to the clinic and they had to do a bunch of blood tests including a full blood type analysis. They also had to do an ultrasound. I remember looking at the screen during the ultrasound and I could very clearly see the outline of a baby. I felt sick. I stared at the ceiling and mentally, emotionally, and spiritually left the room until it was all over. I felt empty and hollow. I got dressed and left. They were going to call me once the results were in and they could book me in.
I got the call and went back. They put me under for the procedure, as far as I can remember. Of I was awake, I don't remember anything. I remember leaving and being in so much pain. They told me there would be some bleeding and discomfort afterwards and that would be normal. The blood and the pain was intense for nearly a week afterwards. My "boyfriend" continually berated me for being disgusting and told me how gross I was and how awful of a person I was... but he was the one who insisted on the abortion on the first place. I was hurt and confused, but that was kind of normal as the vicious cycle of being beat and hurt and confused and having to apologize for some sort of "wrong" I had done was normal. After apologizing, I would eventually receive little bits of kindness thrown my way like food scraps you would feed to a dog. This had been happening since 1997, and it happened slowly so I didn't necessarily realize the gravity of what was happening.

Throughout the week of intense pain and bleeding, I'm still the one who had to go out and earn the money. He kept yelling and complaining about having no cigarettes or weed and not enough food. I couldn't squeegee because I could barely stand up straight. I panhandled in front of the 7-11 at the corner of 10th Ave and 12th St in New Westminster, BC.

I told myself for years that the abortion was a good thing that I chose because I had recently relapsed on heroin and was in an abusive relationship, but that was just how I decided to think about it and to make sense of it. I never wanted to admit that I was told to get an abortion and just went and did it. I never wanted to admit to the level of abuse I received and the things I did for this motherfucker because I always felt so ashamed and embarrassed and like it just made me a weak and pathetic human being. Part of me still feels like that, but I am not longer concerned with being judged about it. This is the truth and people are going to make whatever they want out of it. I have no control over that.
The only "good" thing I think of surrounding the whole abortion is that it would have tethered me to this motherfucking asshole for the entire kids lifespan, so maybe that intense pain and awful memory in the short term was worth it. The kid might have gotten the fucking tar beaten out of them too, or maybe that's would have spurred me to leave, I have no idea. I just know that it was an awful experience all-around and not a decison or a procedure that I would recommend that anyone approach lightly and without great thought and care.


Edit note
Queen Elizabeth Quarry Gardens
4.8(310)
Garden · Vancouver
Open ⋅ Closes 10 p.m.
2001/2002
There was a beautiful Sakura tree here that I planned to sit under while I popped pills, drank alcohol, and then slit my wrists vertically to ensure my death would be final.

My first actual attempt at suicide was when I was about 13 or 14 and I took a bunch of different pills that were supposed to react badly with each other and cause coma and death. I was incredibly disappointed when I woke up the next morning with nothing but brain fog and a headache.

I started considering all the different ways that could lead to my death when I was much younger than that. Not sure how "normal" that is, but I thought about it quite frequently. I didn't feel very wanted or loved, especially after my grandfather died. I often thought it would have been better if I had just never even existed to begin with. I felt like a burden and an annoyance, especially to my mother and grandmother, but if I expressed this out loud my grandmother would get really upset so I eventually learned to just shut the fuck up and keep my dark thoughts to myself.

And to be clear, I never needed drugs to help me to "feel better". There was never anything wrong with me, and there is still nothing wrong with me. I come by who I am honestly. My thoughts and feelings are totally normal for anyone who went through similar experiences from a young age.

The reality is that I didn't get what I needed in terms of love and care as a child. I am not alone in this. There are many other people out there who can relate to how I think and they have all devised their own ways and methods of dealing with the pain and emptiness. There are some things you simply cannot replace. Neurotransmitters are nothing but useless band-aid solutions that wear off or create dependency/tolerance or cause awful side-effects, or you simply become immune to their effects. It's better to figure out your own way, even though the "experts" may disagree. Most of the "experts" are fucking clueless about real hardships other than what they read from case studies and from textbooks. Most of them don't have real life experiences they can draw from so their opinions aren't even close to being worth their weight in salt.

All that said, it's not like I didn't have a reason to feel like I was better off dead. My mother resented my existence and my grandmother continually rejected me in favour of my mother. My aunts and uncles experienced something very similar. No wonder all of them are legal pill addicts and/or are/were alcoholics.

I think I'm the only one in my family now who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or take pills. I deal with things mostly through creative communication: writing, drawing, photography, making videos, and posting stuff online. Or I deal with stuff by exercising, playing video games, listening to music and podcasts, going to work, and generally doing all that "normal" shit that other humans do.

I guess I wallow in the shadows more than some people do, but being in the darkness feels like home to me. So fuck your fluffy fuzzy feelings garbage and your sparkly shiny sunshine shit. I lit my own fire in this dark abyss, and it's mesmerizing, comfortable, and wickedly hot. Maybe someday I won't be alone in it, maybe not. I just know this is the only place and way I know how to be, and it actually feels like me. 🖤


Edit note
Carnegie Outreach Program
4.3(147)
Social services organization · Vancouver
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
I'm not sure of the exact address, but right close to here I used to come to a free art/studio space for homeless youth. It was just a place to go where they had art supplies and you could do your own thing. It wasn't open all the time, but I really liked going there when I was able to, which wasn't all that often unfortunately. My freedom was severely limited by my "boyfriend". First and foremost my responsibility was to make money, mainly for him to eat, smoke cigarettes and do drugs. When it came to food, cigarettes, and drugs, he got the majority of it. I just got what he allowed me to have once he'd had his fill, and that was always much less than him.
1997-1999


Edit note
Tosi Italian Food Import Co
4.7(18)
Importer · Vancouver
There used to be a store either in this spot or right close by that sold 5 samosas for $1. Used to come here routinely for cheap food. Store owners were really nice.


Edit note
Ten Ren Tea & Ginseng Co., Ltd.
4.2(41)
Tea store · Vancouver
Closes soon ⋅ 5:30 p.m. ⋅ Opens 10 a.m. Wed
In-store shopping
This is where I used to buy my Red Korean Ginseng and other Chinese herbs. 2000-2002.


Edit note
Ivanhoe Pub
4.0(608)
$ · Pub · Vancouver
Open ⋅ Closes 11 p.m.
Dine-in
·
No delivery
Used to come here sometimes and drink cheap beer.


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Parkside Place
5.0(1)
Apartment building · Victoria
Used to live here. Loved this complex. Had lots of cool friends here. :) Still remember my address, postal code, and phone number from when I lived here from 1985 - 1988.
3594 Tillicum Rd.
V8X 4H4
382-8554

I remember getting into trouble a fair bit from my grandparents when I lived here. We used to climb the wall up to the highway and I got big shit for that. I also got shit for trying to start fires in the yard by using dried leaves and two sticks . I did not have access to matches or lighters as no one in my house smoked. Maybe that was a good thing, lol!
In about 1989, I learned how to properly start fires at Camp Thunderbird. I became quite a pro at it and was always the one to start and maintain the fires whenever we had beach parties and such as a teenager.
I wish I had a real fireplace in my basement suite as I quite enjoy fire-tending. I think fire is fascinating to experience and maintain.

I also remember getting into trouble from my Uncle John because I was with his 2 kids and we were using a wire coat hanger to try and pop the locks open on cars. It was actually quite a useful skill to learn and I got really good at it because my mom used to lock her keys in the car regularly. Locksmiths are expensive so having me break into the car for her was a much better option! Pretty sure I broke into my aunt's car at least once when she locked her keys in.
I also taught myself how to pick door locks using bobby pins as a kid. My grandmother didn't like it, but it was another fun and useful skill to learn/teach myself. I have never used my lockpicking skills to do anything illegal as far as I can remember. I've stolen some stuff. Maybe I shoplifted sometimes. First time was a pack of gum from the grocery store on Burnside Rd. I was maybe 6 or 7 years old and just out grocery shopping with my mom. She didn't make me take it back or anything. She just told me it was wrong and not to do it again. I didn't shoplift again until I was a teenager and I started stealing candy and stuff from convenience stores.
I also stole money from my mom's purse to fund buying my first quarter ounce of weed so I could start dealing enough that I didn't have to pay for own weed. I was 14. I used to sell mostly joints and dime bags at school/work and to friends/family. By the time I was 20, I mostly sold eighth and quarters to coworkers and friends, but just enough so I didn't have to pay for my own weed. It was never a moneymaking endeavour for me. I stopped dealing weed in my mid 20s. That was all I really dealt, well, actually I dealt heroin for a very short stint as a teenager, but I was an addict so that didn't turn out well. I ended up smoking most of the product and then I had to work the corner to pay off the debt. And to be clear, I was never a prostitute. I just washed car windows on the street corner.


Edit note
Casa del Mar
I came down here with my friend in April 2001 for a week or two. Had a lot of fun!
I was an avid weed smoker from the time I was 14 years old and I really wanted to have some for my trip, but didn't want to take a bag through customs as we had to stop in LA on the way there. You USA people are a bit crazy about weed - you treat it as though it's some big deal. Not like it's heroin or cocaine or meth, eh?
Anyone, the friend who hooked me up with the hotel told me where to go and who to see to get weed while in Cabo. It wasn't very good weed, but it was better than nothing. I remember how shocked the dude was about me not wanting to buy coke, lol. I guess that's the more popular drug of choice for people who visit Mexico.
I remember getting kicked out of a club in Mexico for smoking a joint in the bathroom. Security escorted me out shortly after I lit up. My friend was a bit freaked out about it. I just laughed. At least he didn't call the cops on me, eh?
I remember we had a one night layover in LA, California on the way back. I was really sunburned and uncomfortable from spending way too long in the sun the last day in Mexico. I got so sunburned that the doctor had to come and hook me up to an IV in the hotel room after I passed out and burnt my collarbone on the element of the stove, lol!
Anyways, I wanted to make sure I had some weed in LA to help ease the discomfort from the bad sunburn I had. Back then, to go through customs from Mexico back to the USA you just had to push a button that would activate a traffic light. If it turned green, you just walked through customs. If it turned red, you got searched. I had my weed in my cigarette pack, which was inside my tiny purse backpack. I pushed the button, and the light turned green. I walked through customs and onto the plane safely. I was thankful to be able to roll one up and smoke one in LA before and after me and my friend went for dinner and drinks. :)
I made sure to finish my weed in LA as I didn't want to risk going through USA customs to Canada. You guys get so up in arms about weed down there. You really need to chill out on your citizens about that. It's just weed. It's not a big deal. Not sure why y'all get so crazy about it. Take a page from us up here in Canada. We all chill about it. Especially in BC. :)


Edit note
Uptown
4.1(6,757)
Shopping mall · Victoria
Spacious open-air shopping center
Open ⋅ Closes 6 p.m.
In-store shopping
Used to be called the Town and Country Mall. Was an outdoor strip mall. Used to come to the Zellers here starting around 1991 and hang out in the toy department playing the SNES demo as I didn't have one at home. Would spend hours playing Super Mario World.
I eventually got a SNES as a birthday or Christmas gift. Whole family pitched in and that was my one gift. My grandmother didn't like me spending hours alone at the mall playing video games, so I'm sure that's why she got everyone to pitch in for a SNES. She got her wish and I got mine, lol!


Edit note
Christie Point
3.7(26)
Apartment building · Victoria
This was the place I lived in with my grandparents when I was born (September 17, 1980). We lived here until 1985. I used to watch the seaplanes take off and land in the harbour nearby. I thought that was pretty cool. I still think planes are fucking cool, but my tastes have morphed and I am more into fighter planes and stealth bombers these days.
My most memorable experience of living here was the night my grandfather tried to park his car, but ended up driving it over the edge of the wall and into our neighbours yard. I am pretty sure that he had been drinking. A crane tow truck had to lift the car out. I found it all to be quite amusing - no one was injured during the incident or anything so it ended up to be a good laugh for all, including our neighbour! I think my grandfather gave up driving shortly after that. I remember my mom driving him to the Bay St Armoury where he worked when I was a kid.


Edit note
Colquitz Creek
4.8(4)
River
Used to come here with my friends from Parkside Place and catch crayfish and stuff.


Edit note
Tillicum Laundry
3.3(99)
Laundromat · Victoria
Open ⋅ Closes 8 p.m.
I used to hang out at this strip mall with my friends from Parkside Place. There used to be a Pop Shoppe at the end closest to the gas station.
Played my very first arcade game here back in the mid-1980s - would have been sometime between 1985-1987. I didn't often have quarters to plug into the arcade machines at the laundromat here, but when I did, I played 1942.
I still love shooters of all varieties, though this genre/word has morphed over time and now has multiple meanings in the gaming community.


Edit note
White Spot (Best Western)
3.5(879)
$$ · Restaurant · Vancouver
Open ⋅ Closes 9 p.m.
Dine-in
·
Takeout
·
Delivery
Started working here in August 1999, shortly after I finished the Picasso Cafe work skills program. This used to be the Coast Hotel. Marpole pub was next door.


Edit note
Lumberworld
4.1(188)
Lumber store · Victoria
Closes soon ⋅ 5 p.m. ⋅ Opens 7 a.m. Wed
In-store shopping
·
In-store pickup
·
Delivery
Broke a window near here. Was with 2 of my buddies. 1996. We were throwing rocks at the store window across the street and we ended up cracking the window pane, but we hadn't yet been successful in breaking it like we had hoped to do. My 2 buddies were arguing back and forth about who was going to go by the store with a big rock to actually break through the glass. While they went back and forth saying, "You do it" "No, you do it", I grabbed a big rock, ran across the street and smashed the window. I ran back to my buddies and we waited a bit to listen for an alarm and see if anyone from the pub across the street had heard. The coast seemed to be clear so we ran across the street to the store with the now shattered window pane and took all the cigarettes we could see from the store. We then took off down the galloping goose trail, adrenaline pumping and super happy with our score.
The next day, we sold a bunch of the cigarettes for $4 a pack. I remember we had a lot of Canadian Classic packs and I think quite a few roll your own drum packs too. Cigarettes were $5 a pack back then so we easily sold all that we had scored from the little B&E we did. I can't speak for my buddies, but I never did another B&E ever again.
I felt really bad for the store owners. I remember seeing them the next day out front of their store assessing the damage and stuff. They would have had to pay to get all that fixed. It was a small family run business too so it really wasn't a very nice thing to do. Never thought about that at the time we were breaking the window, but I definitely thought about it the next day after seeing them.
Anyhow, we were young and drunk and did stupid things sometimes, but usually the things we did were just silly and harmless. This definitely inconvenienced and impacted a family's finances and livelihood, and is definitely the most inconsiderate thing I ever did as a teenager. Deepest apologies to the store owners for me and my friends being such idiots that night! 🙏🙏🙏


Edit note
7-Eleven
3.4(45)
Convenience store · New Westminster
Pit stop for snacks, drinks & sundries
Open 24 hours
In-store shopping
·
In-store pickup
·
Delivery
Used to panhandle here sometimes. 1999.


Edit note
447 E 6th Ave
Vancouver, BC V5T 1K8
This was my first apartment. 1997. My landlady was very nice. I remember I baked her cookies when I first moved in. Chocolate chip. That's the kind of thing you do to meet and greet new neighbours, right? That is what my grandmother taught me. I had to request a cup of sugar from her to make the cookies, but sharing is part of being a good neighbour and citizen, right? ❤

There was a crack dealer in the building, name was Jabar. He was "really nice" about giving out "free samples" and smoking "free rock" with new customers... Of course, once you are "hooked", which doesn't take long, the gravy train ends. You are then in a state of withdrawal and you will be wanting/needing more to maintain that level of floating... of feeling amazing, like you are some sort of superhero or something.

I learned how to cook crack on a stovetop in a frying pan from Jabar by watching him cook it on my stove in my apartment. I never made it myself, but I sure know how from watching him do it!
Cocaine and crack was never my drug of choice. Once the gravy train from Jabar ended, I didn't continue to use this particular drug. The "uppers" were never my thing. They are short-acting; therefore, extra expensive habit to pursue. Also, I hated the come down and the jaw-clenching/teeth grinding after-effect. Also, just felt overall yucky and sweaty from them.


Edit note
7587 10th Ave
Burnaby, BC V3N 2S1
A jacket saved my life here. Early October 1999.
My "boyfriend" RAH, had forced his way back jnto the basement suite and was raging. I had broken up with up and asked him to leave because he knocked me out cold for my 19th birthday. September 17, 1999. I remember drinking beer. Molson Canadian, as far as I remember. He accused me of hiding money from him. I had just started working at White Spot in August of 1999. I had gotten maybe 2 paycheques by my birthday, if I remember correctly. He was still not working, because he didn't work or contribute anything. He demanded that I hand all money over to him, which I did, because if I didn't, he would kick the shit out of me. I told him that I had given him all the money from my paycheque, but he didn't believe me. He got so mad and started throwing me around. Then, I remember a fist coming towards me and then nothing.
I woke up the next morning and my head was pounding. It hurt so much. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I had dried blood all over my face and my eyes were swollen shut. My nose was huge and my eyes were starting to bruise. All I remember worrying about was what was I going to do about work? I was scheduled to work an evening shift and how was I supposed to go to work looking like this?

I remember telling RAH how was I supposed to work like this and he said I guess you'll have to call in. I couldn't use the phone that was at the house because it was broken. I had tried to call the police for help on a few occasions previously and he ripped the phone out of the wall and threw it at me. I ducked. I was used to ducking flying projectiles by this point. Bottles, cans, dishes, belts, chains, dog leashes/collars, knives, furniture, whatever was close by and he could throw at me, he would.

Anyhow, he accompanied me to the payphone, as I was never allowed to make a phone call without him being in earshot. I never had privacy. He had to know everything I said and did. I explained that I couldn't come in for my shift because my eyes were swollen shut. I managed to whisper into the phone that I got punched. RAH got really mad about that, but I wasn't sure what else I was supposed to say to explain how my eyes got swollen and my face was all messed up.

I went to work the next day. Felt really embarrassed and awkward about it. There was no hiding it with makeup. Most customers just said nothing, but I remember a couple of them saying something along the lines of, "I hope the other girl looks worse." I just laughed with them awkwardly. They didn't know and were just trying to be nice. I certainly don't fault them for that. Having a laugh despite it all was good as it made me feel better for a fleeting moment. Better than nothing, eh? 😊

Anyhow, things were really escalating with RAH and I asked him to leave. I told him I did not love him at all and that I felt nothing for him and could no longer tolerate the abuse. I remember being super calm about it all. He eventually left, but came back a few days later really raging. Probably high on meth or something... coming down from a bender.
He barricaded me inside the basement suite. It lasted for hours. I tried to leave a few different ways, but got blocked no matter where I turned to or what I tried to do. I tried one window, but he grabbed me and threw me and blocked it with an armchair. I made a run for the broken phone, but he ripped it out of the wall and threw it. Smashed it into pieces. I tried another window, but he grabbed me again and threw me and blocked that one with furniture too. I ran into the bathroom at one point and managed to lock the door behind me. I opened the window and was just starting to crawl out, but he had since popped the door open with a knife and was pulling me back in. I fought to try and push myself out of the window anyhow, then he just started to slam the window shut on me.

https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1041128


Edit note
Kingston Base
3.9(50)
Military base · Kingston
This is where my grandfather got posted by the British military back in the mid 1950s. As he was in the military, he never got to decide where him and his family got to live. He just had to go and live wherever the military told him to go.
For example, my mother was born in Iserlohn, West Germany. She was born there because my grandfather had gotten posted there by the military. My family moved a lot because my grandfather served in the military. He became a commissionaire once he was too old to do regular military service work. It's a pretty common job transition for veterans, as far as I understand. The last place he worked at was the Bay St Armoury in Victoria, BC. He was a janitor and proudly raised the flag every day. He worked there up until he couldn't work any longer due to the cancer that had spread in his body. None of us knew about it until about a week or two before he died because he didn't tell anyone. He didn't want anyone to worry about him or cause a fuss. He was a man. A real man. With courage and strength. He took care of his family, at all costs. No matter what. ❤


Edit note
Roedde House Museum
4.5(240)
Local history museum · Vancouver
Restored Victorian house with docents
Closed ⋅ Opens 1 p.m. Wed
Spent some time sitting at the Gazebo here. Was drinking tequila out of a brown paper bag back in 1997. Some strangers came and sat with me and my "boyfriend". They had this beautiful pipe made out of deer antler. Smoked some weed with them. Shared some booze. Awesome people! I really enjoyed chatting with them. ❤
I don't remember walking back to my apartment on East 6th, but I do remember I ate some cookie dough ice cream, and then I went to lay down because the world was spinning (It's always spinning, but I mean like I was dizzy from the alcohol). Not long after that, I threw up all over myself and the blanket I had. I guess tequila and dairy is not a good combo, LOL! I stopped drinking tequila after that for many years. I have had a few shots here and there since, but that's about it. I don't really drink at all anymore. It doesn't seem to really affect me like it used to as I can just drink copious amounts and I don't feel any kind of buzz or anything from it. Also, alcoholism is rampant in my family so I think it's best if I just don't drink it.


Edit note
Victoria Skydivers
4.9(17)
Skydiving center · Sidney
Permanently closed
This used to be called the Ultimate High Parachute Club. I used to go skydiving here in the early-mid 2000s. Gary owned the club, Phil was the tandem master, and Al was the cameraman.
My best jump was with my aunt Trish. She did a tandem jump for her birthday. I jumped out after her. ❤
My favourite part of any skydive, other than practicing doing somersaults and trying to master barrel rolls, was always the moment just after you pull your pilot chute and watch your canopy open. It's this incredible moment of calm and peaceful quiet. Everything becomes so still and silent once you are under canopy. It is an amazing "bird's-eye" view of the world - always an incredible experience. ❤


Edit note
Swan Lake Christmas Hill Nature Sanctuary
4.6(283)
Nature preserve · Victoria
Oak wood & marsh habitats around a lake
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
This has always been one of my favourite places to walk around. I used to hang out at a very specific willow tree here with good friends as a teenager. It was a safe place. A sanctuary.


Edit note
Mobi Bike Station
3.3(3)
Bike sharing station · Vancouver
Slept under this bridge for quite awhile in 1998. There was a bunch of abandoned ticket booths here which provided great shelter from the wind and other elements. A francophone couple also lived here, along with other homeless people. Our dogs guarded us from the rats and alerted us to any danger as well.
I remember once, all my stuff got rifled through while I was off squeegeeing at Main and Terminal. My poetry journals were strewn about, along with my clothes. Thankfully, the only thing that got taken was my bic pens (which was pretty upsetting to me as writing was, and still is, an important outlet for me to get out/work out my emotions and thoughts) The theft of my pens made it quite clear that crackheads had been the ones to go through all my stuff. When you take out the inner nib portion with the ink from bic pens, you are left with a plastic tube that makes for a great crack pipe. Just stick some brillo (steel wool) in one end and voila!
When the Indy 500 race was starting up again, we got kicked out as they had to clean up the area and redo it to make it look all fancy and appropriate for the spectators and tourists. The construction guys brought us beer, I guess as a "sorry we gotta kick you out" gift. I think it was 2 x 12 packs of bottled beer, if I remember correctly. Don't remember the brand. They were all super nice dudes. We were very polite and understanding about the situation. They were just doing their jobs. Thanks for the beer and for talking to us and treating us with so much kindness! ❤


Edit note
Mary's on Davie
4.3(895)
$$ · Restaurant · Vancouver
Breezy eatery serving diner-style dishes
Open ⋅ Closes 12 a.m.
Dine-in
·
Takeout
·
No-contact delivery
Awesome food here! I think the first time I ever came here was with Demi and Priscilla. You both helped me so much and provided me with a place to stay when the place I was at was no longer safe and I had nowhere else to go to. Thank you so much!! Love you both. ❤


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WWF Commemorative Plaque
2.0(1)
Tourist attraction · Vancouver
Temporarily closed
Ate blackberries for breakfast here while I was living/sleeping on the beach in 1998.

Slept here:
49.2733341204345, -123.19694836905374
Saw Aurora Borealis here, August 1998

Outdoor showers were approximately here:
49.27187867818325, -123.19165192438027


Edit note
Vancity
3.6(25)
Credit union · Vancouver
Closes soon ⋅ 5 p.m. ⋅ Opens 9:30 a.m. Wed
Opened my first bank account here


Edit note
The Gathering Place Community Centre
4.2(438)
Community center · Vancouver
Open ⋅ Closes 8 p.m.

Add note
Mount Seymour
4.3(336)
Mountain peak
Destination for skiing, hiking & biking
Came here with the "man" I used to date and another man. The other man approached me while I was washing car windows at Main and Terminal. He wanted to take photos of me. I didn't clue in on the type of photos he meant. I think he offered $50. That kind of money would sometimes take the whole day to make. I was unsure. The "man" I was with "approved" this transaction. I think I was still 16 years old, but I might have just turned 17. I was wearing a dress this particular day. A velvet dress. Cream coloured. The man with the camera drove me and the "man" I was dating in the back of his van to this mountain. The "photo shoot" started off just asking me to pose in certain ways. I felt uncomfortable, but it was just photos for money, right? The "man" I was dating encouraged me as they both coached me. After awhile of these photos, I got asked to reveal more. I was not comfortable with it, but this man and my "boyfriend" encouraged me. I got as far as being topless, but I wouldn't do anything more. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt gross and dirty.
Was driven back to the corner in the back of the van. Silence the whole way. After the whole process was over, my "boyfriend" got mad at me and told me I was a dirty slut for what I had done, but I didn't want to do it at all in the first place. I only went along with it because he encouraged me and approved the whole thing. I was so hurt and confused. He verbally and physically berated me for what I had done. I didn't deserve this kind of treatment.


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Main Street-Science World
3.8(89)
Subway station
This was my squeegee corner. I washed windows here. 1997-1999. Met lots of nice people. Lots of regular customers. So many kind people. Thank you all so much for everything! ❤


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800 Hawks Ave
Vancouver, BC V6A 3J4
This is where I lived when 9/11 happened.


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Burnaby Public Library, Bob Prittie Metrotown Branch
4.5(452)
Public library · Burnaby
Open ⋅ Closes 8 p.m.
Used to come to this library to borrow books in 1999 when I was living on 10th Ave - that is the street that is the border of Burnaby and New West. I think I read all the Jack Whyte books they had at this location. They were excellent!


Cobalt Hotel

Came here with my "boyfriend" and another person who squeegeed at Main and Terminal. He (Rene) was very nice, unlike my "boyfriend". I hope you managed to get clean and are still alive and doing ok. ❤

Oh, and btw, Rene (the French Canadian "man" with short orange/red hair that used to squeegee at Main and Terminal and was a needle using heroin addict)... I certainly hope that purse you stole from the lady on Hastings (pretty sure you said she was Chinese, and you assumed she was rich because of her race, which is a fucking ridiculous notion) was a one time thing. As far as I remember, that was the only time you did anything other than squeegee, to my knowledge anyhow. I never partook in any of the money or the drugs you bought with your "score" from that day. You gave me the disposable camera, which had a few shots left, and I paid to develop the roll after I took those shots.


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Atlas Animal Hospital & Emergency Vancouver
3.5(883)
Veterinarian · Vancouver
Open 24 hours
Brought my cat here to be spayed and my dog to be neutered. Late 1999.


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594 E 49th Ave
Vancouver, BC V5W 2G9
I lived in a basement suite here. One of the security guards from the Grand Casino helped me find this affordable place. He was really nice and I enjoyed talking to him. He was from Yemen. I remember when I asked him where he was from, he was surprised I knew where in the world his country was.

Him, "Do you even know where Yemen is?"
Me, "Yes, it's right next to Oman, by Saudi Arabia." ☺ ❤

Mountain View Jewish Cemetery

Used to live a couple of blocks from this cemetery in the year 2000. Used to walk around here with my dog after work/before work/whenever I had time between the 2 jobs I was working.

I have always enjoyed walking around at cemeteries. They are peaceful and I feel like the dead appreciate the company. I am not sure how to describe in words the energy/sensation I feel when I visit cemeteries.

I spent lots of time walking around cemeteries in Victoria as a teenager. I still spend time visiting cemeteries now. They are important places to visit, to listen to, to learn from. ❤

The place I lived in close to here was a basement suite. I lived with a roommate. He was one year, one month, one week, and one day younger than me. His name was Greg(ory) Smith and he is your typical stupid jock—literally. I am willing to bet he doesn't have an IQ of much more than 60. Also, he was super racist towards Indigenous people and I used to get so fucking mad at him when he would talk shit about how natives get everything for free. He was always harping on about how they get free education and don't have to pay for anything, blah blah blah.

Total fucking uneducated moron who thought he was super smart, but he never was and he doesn't have a fucking hope in hell of ever being intelligent. All he knows how to do is make fun of other people and belittle them and talk shit behind their back... sometimes we hear the shit you say about us when you think we're sleeping ya fucking asshole piece of shit. Oh, and you are not as attractive as you think you are and you fucking suck shit at cooking. Your lettuce wraps are fucking garbage. You're another one of those fucking moronic men who think you're gods gift to women. Oh, and I had to bail you out for rent and all sorts of other shit routinely. You just took from me too and didn't give me sweet fuck all in return.

Gregory claimed his mother also had schizophrenia, but apparently she got "cured" and it was just some brief episode. Never heard of that kind of schizophrenia before, but sure, I thought, let's go with that.

Sometimes it is easier to agree with total fucking morons rather than attempt to explain things to them which are far beyond their very limited comprehension abilities. Some people are just stupid and are unable to learn and understand much beyond what their penis dictates to them.

When I first met him, he lived with his dad and younger sister in a house near Marpole White Spot. His dad was a geologist. Anyhow, his dad was nice from my conversations with him.

His first car was a blue firefly, which he crashed one night and wrapped around a streetlight/lamppost.
After we weren't roommates anymore (he got his own place) we hung out every so often, but he basically treated me as a booty call when I was never actually looking for anything like that. I just wanted to hang out and play video games, but he almost always expected more.

Not sure I would say he was a real friend that actually cared. He had some cool buddies though. I really liked most of them. I remember his one friend played a lot of soccer. Can't remember his name, but he was super nice. I bought one of his other buddies a private dance when we were at the strip bar one night. It was his 19th birthday, so I felt it was appropriate, lol! He was pretty shy about the whole thing, but I am sure he appreciated it regardless.

Purpose Independent Secondary School
School · New Westminster
Closed ⋅ Opens 8:30 a.m. Wed
I went to school here in 1999. Possibly late 1998 as well. Can't remember exactly the months I was here. Took Math 11, Law 12, Psychology 11, and Art. My teachers were excellent. I especially loved my Math/Art teacher. He was awesome. I really liked my Law/Psychology teacher too, but I'm not so sure he liked me that much. He was a good teacher and good to his students though.
I met a lot of cool people here. Nice classmates. Hope you all are doing well, wherever and whatever you may be up to these days. ❤


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2501 Main St
Vancouver, BC V5T 3E5
There used to be a bank here. Not sure which one. I used to panhandle here sometimes. 1997/1998


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49°12'40.7"N 123°05'25.2"W
(49.211313, -123.090328)
Grand Casino and Quality Inn Hotel (was on the NE corner of the intersection at SE Marine Dr and Fraser St). Started working here about November 1999. Waitress/concession. Miss my family from here. Lots of nice people - not just co-workers, but clients/customers as well. All like family. Was a bar downstairs. There was a reggae band that played there. Len owned the Casino. His son, Dorian (sp?) worked there. Super nice people! Carl was the general manager. Was super nice as well! I think Richie was basically the operations manager? He was the main pit boss, from what I remember. His wife worked there as well. Think her name was Dawn. Security and surveillance guys were all nice. Learned lots from you all. Loved all the current event and political discussions! :) Pit bosses too! I remember all of you guys. I still listen to punk. One of the cool pit bosses made chain link jewelry and liked punk music. They were all super cool to talk to. Sometimes, a bunch of us would even go out for food and drinks. I went and did karaoke one time. I was very uncomfortable. I used to do Karaoke all the time as a kid/teen, but have never felt comfortable with it post-19, which has no relation to covid-19, it's just a reference to my age at that time.(1999/2000)

Learned lots from many people here. Employees and otherwise.
I remember one guy that started coming in, name might have been Chris? Not 100% sure. I remember he volunteered at the gathering place downtown. They helped him get off the streets. I didn't realize until years later that I used to squeegee with him at the corner of Main and Terminal. I hope you were able to stay clean. ❤




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The Naam
4.3(2,700)
$ · Vegetarian · Vancouver
24/7 vegetarian & natural-food eatery
Open ⋅ Closes 12 a.m.
Dine-in
·
Takeout
·
No-contact delivery
Sometimes came here for food with my friend Noel. He worked security at the Grand Casino.


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1626 W Broadway
Vancouver, BC V6J 1X8
Learned to be a waitress here. Got to cater a fancy wedding reception at a big mansion in West Vancouver. Got my Serving It Right, SuperHost, FoodSafe through here. Food Safe had to go somewhere else for to do the workshop/test - SE Vancouver, I think? Picasso Cafe program was initially geared towards sex workers to allow them the dignity to serve people (mostly men) in another capacity. Nice lady from Metrotown Advanced Education Skills and Training got me a placement here. Thank you. ❤


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Fable Diner
4.3(1,958)
$$ · Diner · Vancouver
Bright diner using local produce
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
Dine-in
·
Takeout
·
No-contact delivery
Nice man bought me breakfast here. I was panhandling at Broadway and Main in front of the bank that used to be there. I was hungry. Thank you


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Hotel Regal
Hotel · Vancouver
Francophone friends lived here for awhile. 1998


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Edmonds
4.0(98)
Subway station
Skytrain to downtown. Walked here from 10th ave in basement suite I lived in. Was a converted garage. I drew pictures of the kitchen in my sketchbook. Still have the drawings.


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Law Courts of British Columbia- New Westminster
3.6(37)
Courthouse · New Westminster
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
Came here in 1999 with my teacher and classmates from Purpose School.


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Courthouse Libraries BC - New Westminster
5.0(1)
Library · New Westminster
Closed ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
Came here when I was enrolled at Purpose School. 1999


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New Westminster Evangelical Free Church
4.3(14)
Church · Burnaby
Closes soon ⋅ 5 p.m. ⋅ Opens 9 a.m. Wed
Never went inside. Used to escape to this spot when things were bad. Would sit in their backyard parking lot/grassy area. Sometimes I would write in my journal. Brought the dog with me sometimes. Baxter. Black and white. Pit/Lab. Intact male dog. from SPCA in East Vancouver, 1997. Adopted by Ryan Andrew Hake, DOB: August 16, 1978


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5149 Walden St
Vancouver, BC V5W 2V6
Safe house
Cool employees here. They were really kind to all of us. One employee I remember specifically because I liked talking politics with him. I remember he encouraged me to read The Economist magazine to gain a better understanding of/more in depth perspective on economics, politics, and world affairs. I definitely took the advice to heart. I still read The Economist and other similar magazines to this day. Maybe not religiously, but I think it's important to keep a hand on the pulse of the world.


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Scotiabank
2.3(82)
Bank · Vancouver
Closed ⋅ Opens 9:30 a.m. Wed

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Psychic Gina
3.9(27)
Psychic · Vancouver
Open ⋅ Closes 6 p.m.
Went here twice. Was curious as to what a psychic does and I've always found "magic" stuff to be interesting, though I don't take any of it seriously. The lady did a tarot card reading and read my palms. She had a little new testament Bible which she got me to read some prayer with her. Maybe a Psalms one? Don't remember exactly. The page was marked with a little magnetic bookmark. She tried to persuade me back by telling me I had some "dark energy" following me, but I didn't buy into it. I went back one more time after that to see what she would say. Anyhow, I felt bad that I didn't return the Bible because I don't like taking things and keeping things that aren't mine and/or that I haven't paid for with cash or traded something of equivalent (or of much more value—not ever including my body though—that has never been my style and never will be)
Anyhow, people give Bibles away for free all the time and I paid her for each visit so I don't need to feel bad about that, or anything else in my past. Overall, I think I've been a pretty good person and have always tried to do my best and help other people out with nearly everything I have been asked. Even when I was homeless, I shared what I had and often gave my friends and other street people money and food.

I know my ex-husband considering me to be selfish and often told me I was a selfish bitch, but that's not the kind of term I think anyone who doesn't want to hurt and abuse and use me would ever use to describe me. I very rarely say no to anything. I try hard to be as kind and helpful as possible, not because I feel like I have to or I am forced to or are coerced into being that way. It's simply the way I am. How I was raised, what I experienced, the people I have looked up to and admired, the stories I read (both fiction and non-fiction)—especially those about people who survived though wars, pow camps, the Holocaust, Communism, extreme abuse of many kinds—from their family, their friends, and even random strangers. The people who keep going and showing there are many ways to survive many environments that don't require using and abusing the environment, other people and/or "systems".


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863 Fleming St, Esquimalt, BC
Lived here when I attended Rockheights Elementary school. Sept 1988 - May/June 1991 for Grades 3-5. There was an apple tree in the front yard and wine grape vines. I remember planting lettuce and corn in the yard here too. I also spent lots of time hanging out in the driveway drawing on the ground with chalk and playing with bugs, especially ants. I never hurt them or anything though. I'd just talk to them, tell them stories, sing them songs, draw them houses and create pathways and artsy things for them to wander around on like a crazy fucking kid, lol!
I remember accidentally killing a fly on the screen door that led to the backyard. I was singing and talking to him (yup, I have always talked to all the creatures, regardless of their placement on the taxonomic tree) and went to nudge him and he just dropped off the screen and fell to the ground. I was so devastated! I remember crying and telling my grandmother about it. She encouraged me to bury him in the backyard and have a funeral service for him. So I did. I buried him in the dirt next to the apple tree, said a little prayer, fashioned a little wooden cross out of a couple of sticks, and put rose petals over his grave.
So yeah...
I was also the kid who went around the neighbourhood, especially at Parkside Place, saving the caterpillars, beetles, and other bugs from getting fried by the boys condensing the sun's rays with magnifying glasses, lol!

Chevron Gas Station (Corner of Tillicum Rd and the hwy)
305 Trans-Canada Hwy, Victoria, BC V8Z 1K8
Helped some dudes lift their golf cart back into the back of their truck in the parking lot here. Mid-late 2000s. I was working at Alpine Disposal and Two Thumbs Up Video at the time.

I remember they didn't think I'd be much help because some big dudes had already been by and they were unsuccessful in lifting the golf cart back into the truck. Regardless, I stepped in and got under the golf cart with the dudes there and we lifted it back into their truck with ease. They said thanks and went on their way.

I was wearing a camo jacket at that time, which I no longer have. Must have gotten lost while I was moving or while my stuff was in storage. I also think I was wearing my black army-style hat as well. That also seems to have disappeared. Oh well. \o/