A Bad trip to the Movies the Series!

A Trip to the Movies gone bad - The Menu Movie part 2

It was December 17th, 2022, and you are glad that the week is finally over! You have just got done checking your asshole brother Ross's twitter and see he is still stuck at home with his chest pains. You decided to start things off by taking your kids to their grandparent's house so you and your girlfriend can go on a date! You decided to take her to your favorite restaurant in the whole world...OLIVE GARDEN!


You notice that there was quite a number of people at Olive Garden that day. You had no choice but to park on the far end of the parking lot, which was quite a walk to the restaurant. After you go inside the front door, you try to get a table, but was told that the wait was going to be about two hours. TWO HOURS?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? YOU ARE STARVING AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST ITALIAN COOKING ON THIS SIDE OF THE PLANET! But you give in and you two sit down on a tiny, cramped sofa to wait on your table. After a few minutes, you begin to feel a small, but growing stomach cramp. You recognize this cramp right away and know that it means that you have to take a dump soon and fast! You tell your girlfriend you have to hit the toilet and bolt off to the men's room. Thankfully, you find a vacant toilet and sit down on the toilet and begin to grunt. You feel your...cargo...is not moving and you try to push again, only harder. Nope, your 'cargo' is still not moving...and the cramp is building up. You push even harder and the 'cargo' has yet to move in your backside. It would seem that your diet of nothing but McDonald's and frozen pizzas is finally catching up with you!


A whole hour would go by as you sit there, pushing with all of your might to try to get that 'cargo' out of your ass! Eventually, a muscle gets pulled and you feel the cannonball fall into the toilet as you let out the deepest groan before falling onto the ground. After cleaning yourself off, you would flush the toilet and head to the sink to wash off more. Your girlfriend would poke her head in and ask if everything is alright, but you tell her that everything is fine now. She then tells you that you are drenched in sweat, head to toe, like you just ran a marathon! You tell her that you had some issues with...getting rid of some 'cargo' in the bathroom. You would then walk to an available table with your girlfriend. You two would then sit down and begin to order your food. You would order the Lasagna frittas for appetizers. Your girlfriend would get chicken gnocchi soup and you would get a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. As you start to eat your food, you look at your girlfriend's face and see a face you didn't want to see...a face of DISGUST! You ask if something is wrong and she says that her chicken is a bit hard to cut and it's being real rubbery right now. You tell her that she just needs a sharper knife. She would then manage to cut off a sizeable piece and bites into it. She cringes even more and spits out her food, saying. "Hun, this food is DISGUSTING! I want CHINESE!" You chuckle at her and tell her to calm down, she is just overreacting. She then asks you to try your food and you chop a meatball in half and bite into it. You went from having a smirk on your face to having a disgusted face as well, as the meatball you are chewing on, isn't exactly tasty. The meatball had a strange, metallic twang to it. You then recognize this taste from nowhere...FREEZER BURNT MEAT! Enraged by this, you angrily flip your table over while yelling!


You would then grab your plate of spaghetti and meatballs and storm into the kitchen, immediately demanding to speak with whoever cooked this plate of frozen pasta! A humongous chef would step out from the crowd of confused chefs and looks right into your eyes with an annoyed look on his face.
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You ask him who the Hell taught him how to cook pasta before you smash the dish in front of him. He then asks if you have a problem and that's when you snap! You snap and try to lunge at the enormous chef, but the other chefs quickly grab you and start to drag you out of the kitchen as the main chef himself just looks on as you are taken out! Back outside the restaurant, you and your girlfriend are thrown out the front door as the manager of the place tells you to leave and not come back before slamming the door shut! You would then sit up and sit on your humongous rear end in a daze. You couldn't believe what just happened. You were just kicked out of your favorite restaurant!


Your girlfriend notices your face and asks if you are alright. You finally respond to her and say, "Is this real? Please tell me this isn't real! Please tell me this is just a nightmare! Please tell me that I did not just get barred from my favorite restaurant!" Your girlfriend then tells you to calm down before you two get up and head back to the SUV. After you get back inside the SUV, you two would quickly get back on the highway and head to the movies. On the way there, you would feel another stomach cramp come about you. You would grip your huge gut, wondering if you just ate something bad back at the Olive Garden. You look over and see that your girlfriend is also gripping her stomach in pain. She looks at you and asks you to book a hotel room. You almost jumped out of your skin when she asks that because not only are you just 15 minutes away from the theater, but there are numerous convenience stores in the area. Your girlfriend starts to get pissed and demands you book a room to make as a private rest area for the two. You told her that the idea is outrageous and you weren't going to spend a couple hundred dollars on a room in a hotel just half an hour from home, but she interrupts angrily and yells,
"BOOK A GODDAMN ROOM SO I CAN HAVE A PRIVATE TOILET TO MYSELF OR I CAN JUST PULL THE FUCK OVER RIGHT NOW AND YOU CAN TAKE A SHIT INTO A DITCH LIKE A GODDAMN DOG!!!"

You let out a huge sigh and book a room while feeling defeated. When you get to the hotel, you notice your girlfriend running behind a bush and squatting behind it. She then yells,
"UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO SHIT AND PISS BEHIND THE BUSHES LIKE A DOG IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, YOU BETTER MAKE THE CHECK-IN PROCESS REAL QUICK, ASSHOLE!"

You check into the room quickly and just after you open the hotel room door, your girlfriend storms in and rushes into the restroom. You quickly rush in afterward. Thankfully, you didn't have trouble relieving yourself this time, but still, the food at the Olive Garden is unacceptable! After you two finish your businesses in the bathroom, you decided to buy tickets to see the movie, "The Menu."


You heard from your asshole brother that this movie is outrageous and spooky, so you decided to try it out for yourself! You would get the tickets and go inside to see the movie!

You are sitting there, in your chair, wildly confused, because this movie made no sense, whatsoever!


You couldn't believe that you just wasted time and money on this stupid movie! HOW COULD ANYONE LIKE A MOVIE THAT IS JUST OUTRIGHT BIZARRE LIKE THIS?!? You and your girlfriend would angrily leave the movie theater and hop into your SUV. After you get home, you and your girlfriend would start popping open the "White Claw" beer and lighting up some weed, because you two are going to spend another night gaming on Fortnite!

The next day, on the 18th of December, 2022, you are rudely woken up by someone angrily banging on the door. This banging has not only woke you up, but it is scaring the kids as well. You would climb out of bed and start to walk across the bedroom slowly, as the floor was covered in empty beer cans and pizza boxes.


You would then start to head to the front door and see who it was. When you see who it was, your heart skipped a beat, as it was the last person you wanted to see...A FUCKING COP! Of course, it was the cousin of Ross's psychotic friend, but still a cop! You ask why he is here and, sure enough, it was to conduct yet, ANOTHER WELFARE CHECK! Apparently, a certain Indian couple heard about your recent addiction to Fortnite and your decision to go crazy with booze and pot as well! Thankfully, your home is relatively clean, but you forgot about the fact that you and your girlfriend were lighting up like crazy last night. The officer would ask if you had smoked recently and you told him you and your girlfriend did indeed smoke some weed last night. He then notices the empty beer cans covering the kitchen counter. He then asks if you had anything to drink recently and, again, you said last night. You tell the officer that Marijuana is perfectly legal now in parts of the country, but he starts to berate you on how your kids can get second-hand highs from the smoke and it could mess up their brain functions. You try to argue your case with the officer, but he keeps up with the tirade.

After about an hour of the officer's tirade, your girlfriend looks like she is on the verge of tears and you look like you are on the verge of another heart attack. The officer then makes his leave as you two sit there baffled. Before you could blow another gasket about your asshole brother again, you needed to find a way to help calm your nerves down again. And you found out a way...A CALL TO THE HUT!