Can We Talk 2

Clinical Depression

         After listening to a Dr. Phil podcast with guest Lori Gottlieb, I ordered her book Maybe You Should Talk To Someone. It is an excellent book, which I highly recommend. It is about her own personal journey while she herself is a therapist. We can all learn a lot about ourselves and others in general from reading it.

         The two therapists suggest that over half the American population is clinically depressed to some degree. Almost none of them realize it. It doesn't mean down in the dumps or reasonably sad. The symptoms vary from person to person, but with similarity. Restlessness, fatigue, sleeping problems, lack of energy, too much energy, anxiety, stress, worry, moodiness, habitual tardiness, losing things may all be symptoms of depression. Most people who are treated for depression are surprised when they start to feel better. They never knew they had a problem until they got over it.

         In my own sphere of acquaintances, I know several people who are probably clinically depressed. They are unhappy, most notably. They aren't in rewarding jobs, or have been passed over for promotion for younger, less qualified people. Or stay-at-home dads, who after a few years, are letting "the man is the breadwinner" mind frame get to them. Or they are in marriages where the spouse nags or complains a lot. None of these people are getting positive reinforcement anywhere. They are getting beat up emotionally by others or by themselves. Some have financial worries or aging parents worries (I've been there).

         One of these people is a micro-manager at work, and while that worked for her to make her successful, it has alienated her from many people over time. She has become anorexic, looking painfully thin, like a skeleton with skin. She's also nervous and shaky, and she gets angry at her family over everything. A helicopter parent, she expects her family to obey without hesitation. Ten years ago, she was nothing like this, but laughing and friendly. She will never see a therapist for fear of what people will think. Yet she is unhealthy and miserably unhappy. Her friends are afraid to mention it.

         In today's culture, we are all pushed to unrealistic standards. We go too fast. We have to be busy all the time (which is why cell phones are so addictive: we never have to be alone with ourselves). We need constant stimulation. We are all in the same boat as humans. We need to be validated. We need rest. We can't really multi-task, despite the adamant believers. We need to face up to our fears. Sometimes, no, oftentimes, we need a professional to talk with, perhaps on a short term basis, in order to face our own behavior and attitudes.