Soundtrack of My Life

"L.A. (Looking Alive)" by Madison Cunningham

"L.A. (Looking Alive)" by Madison Cunningham

Taking a walk down Eagle Rock, wandering
Where the men wear their jeans tight as a bull dog’s skin
Listening to the way people talk, and the way people worry
Turn themselves blonde when they get that sick feeling they’re... aging

Well, I've got a face he has a hard time remembering
And every time that we’ve met he’ll ask,
"Sorry what’s your name again?"
The way people talk and the way people hurry
To reach for a card when they think that you might be
Wasting... their time

Wide-eyed, looking for something
There’s bound to be something to let you down
Wide-eyed, are you sleep deprived?
Well if you want to be something, you’re looking alive

Taking a drive down the five, I’m a different man
The drivers have a way of taking the last bit of goodness I had
There’s always something to wake you when you're caught in a dream
Flashing lights in your rearview, the hollowing scream of your own voice
Was that my voice?

Might I suggest something?
There’s bound to be something
To let you down
Wide eyed, are you sleep deprived
If you want to be something then
Hey! Look alive
Look alive

Well, I left for the city with the strength and the will to compete
How quickly you forget that just anyone can fill your seat
Doesn't it feel good to laugh at yourself
Turn your back on the business and leave it to sell its own worry, its own worry

I’ve been looking alive
I've been looking alive

Madison is a young up-and-coming singer and songwriter that I really think is going to go far. I like her voice and her use of interesting chords with a lot of dissonance. I think this was the first time she performed this song live in front of an audience. As she said, she wrote this about her experience in the music industry in L.A. She's definitely not the first to write about this subject. I've always wondered how many great artists we never hear of because they just didn’t make it through the indifference and mistreatment of the music industry. Only a small percentage ever make it, through a combination of luck, networking and pure resilience. Not so much on the basis of talent.

Although it isn't what Madison wrote this about, this song always reminds me of my days working retail. I spent about three years working a few different service jobs to pay my way through school. Possibly the longest three years of my life. Another industry where you're treated as if you're invisible and expendable. "How quickly you forget that just anyone can take your seat." I have more than one horror story of being screamed at over a coupon on a $2 ice cream, or because their favorite item wasn't in stock. And even more stories about legally questionable things my managers did (or didn't do) that never got reported. Honestly, it was my main motivation for going on to graduate school afterwards, and I even said as much in my applications. The physical toll of hauling heavy boxes and crates around, working in extreme temperatures like freezers, and strain from constant repetitive motions. The incessant reminder to "Hey, look alive!" by managers and customers alike. You can't have an off day, you can't be tired, or be anything less than chipper and bubbly. I'm too much of an introvert to get through hundreds of superficial interactions and small talk with complete strangers for 8+ hours every day.

Trust me, it does feel good to turn your back on the business and leave it to sell it's own worry.
They need you way more than you need them.

Anni