My Personal Goals

Recent Developments

At 5 feet 4 inches tall, around 230 pounds, a little under now, I knew I was overweight. I knew I was considered at least slightly obese. I am around 100 pounds oversight. I had it in my head that it wasn't that bad, that I was just pleasantly plump. (a little husky/chubby) It isn't like I weigh over 300 pounds or even 600 pounds to be on a well-known tv show. I just had no idea my weight was that bad. I have almost always been a little overweight since I was around 10, but even then there were kids who were bigger than me.

I went to the gynecologist Monday (10/11) and I guess you could say I got a wake-up call. The gyno informed me that I have metabolic syndrome and I am obese and need to lose weight immediately for my health’s sake. He also said if he was my primary Dr, he would recommend bariatric surgery so I could lose weight quickly and quickly lower my cholesterol.

Since I have metabolic syndrome, I am at a significantly increased risk of heart disease and stroke. I already have diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. I have PCOS and hypothyroidism and asthma. Figuretively speaking, I feel like I have been hit with a ton of bricks and feel as though this stuff just kind of snuck up on me even though I knew this stuff was possible being overweight.

Yikes! How could I have let it get that bad? How could I not have known? I was just so blinded to the reality of my health condition. I am a victim of a fast food society that promotes sugar, and fat, and add flavor enhancers to food and that sort of thing. Food is a huge part of our culture and it is enjoyable and comforting until you find yourself in my position. I am also victim to my own eating habits, and learned behaviors and coping mechanisms from childhood such as emotional eating.

I can whine about it and just wait until I die and be careless about my eating or I can accept responsibility for my own actions that got me to where I am today and try to correct what I can. So I asked my primary Dr who I also saw on Monday if I could go to a dietician because I could really use some help here.

In addition to telling me I have the metabolic syndrome, I was told I have some endometrial crowding that was found in the biopsy I had. They had told me over the phone that no malignancy was detected, but failed to mention they found an abnormality. Gee thanks! So now I have to get a hysteroscopy done. I have a pre-op appointment next week. Lovely!

As I take a moment to look at what I just wrote, it feels like someone else talking. Is this really happening to me? I haven't been able to work for a few months. Some days I do good to do what I have to do. Now I am about to enter a fight for my life, not only that but the quality of life too. Obviously the way I have been eating has slowly been killing me. It's time for a change. I don't want to just lose weight. I know I need to keep it off. I need to change some of my ways for the rest of my life or die trying.

So I talked with the dietician today. I was surprised that he didn't put me on a calorie and carb counting diet right away as others have done in the past. No, instead he told me for the next 2 weeks I am to mindfully eat. This means I do nothing but eat when I am eating. I don't watch tv, mess with my tablet, or mess with my phone. I don't read or write. I just eat and pay attention to the way my body feels to see when I feel satisfied and full. I pay attention to the taste and chewing the food. I have a follow-up appointment 10/27. This could be interesting.