PORCH PONDERINGS

Fakin' Bacon

30. Bacon Day
The perfect breakfast meat.
Write anything about bacon!

I used to like bacon. Well, actually, I used to love bacon. Really, truly love bacon. When we lived in the dorm up in Yellowstone for a month or two, we ate in the EDR, employee dining room, for our meals. All the bacon you wanted to eat for breakfast. YUM! Filled my plate up every morning. Calories no problem. We hiked 5 miles every night after supper.

But things are different now. I don’t eat bacon. I don’t eat pork of any kind. I am a Seventh-Day Adventist. We consider pork an unclean meat, and as such, I choose not to eat it.

My husband still eats bacon on Saturday. Two pieces. We don’t eat any other pork. If hubby wants pork, he has to eat it when we go out, or eat it somewhere else. I won’t buy it or cook it.

I’ve tried to suggest turkey bacon as an option, but he won’t have any part of that. And really, once I think about it, you’re better off not having that something you love if you're going to substitute with something else. Especially if that something else doesn't resemble the original in looks or taste.

Kind of like the veggie burger craze now. You’re better off not having something pretending to be a burger. Eat a salad or soup instead. You’ll just be disappointed when you don’t get that burger feel between those two pieces of bun.

And then there are those that can justify spending a bunch of money to have that Wagyu beef on a bun. I found an online merchandiser that will sell you two (that is just 2!) frozen Wagyu beef patties for $14.99 - but you cannot buy just two. You have to buy at least 20 for $119.99. Then you have to pay shipping. And the shipping is $40 to $60. I don't know about you folks, but I think my $$ are better spent elsewhere.

I think I will just go to the local supermarket and buy the 80% fat grass-fed beef and make a great hamburger. Then I’ll top it with some really good aged cheddar cheese. No bun. Yum.